Intimacy: One day…

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 286

You deserved it 17 105

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 638

You deserved it 9 942

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 917

You deserved it 58 638

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 249

You deserved it 4 797

Very posh

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 341

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 175

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 4 608

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 579

You deserved it 5 635

No sex for you

By oops - 03/07/2021 13:59

Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 989

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 231

You deserved it 23 006

89jessica 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 23:28

I have two words for you: Lightsaber battles.

explodingmuffint 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 23:25

You should have told her you took up drugs instead.

Comments

Hardbone 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 16:54

Its ok one day you will have the opportunity to use it

jnuke27 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:07

Too funny..didn't even know they made those..

hanhen 0

Monday 28 February 2011 7:32

ur mom just played the poop out of u lol..just tell her u don't use condoms and she's a grandmother of 3 ha

NeverShoutHaylee 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 0:50

Sucks for you, but if you're living at home you're probably young? No need to rush into sex.

Luv4Amuc 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 2:13

glow in the dark rubbers huh, you know those are useless... trust me its safer doing it with the light on... so you know if she got std's and plus, sex is better in the light!! specially when you go crazy on them!! just sayin

autumn88_fml_fml 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:41

hahahah your moms awesome

vannahannah20 0

Friday 4 March 2011 6:37

well at least ur mom didn't throw them at u saying 'ur gonna need these ****'. . . . even tho I didn't have any takers. SEE always a brighter side :)

143ForeverNAlway 4

Sunday 6 March 2011 0:27

lol This is pretty funny but you should probably throw the condoms out (any condom 3 or more months old is VERY breakable) or blow them up into balloons and play with them (thats what I do). :D

Jzoajsjqijshsoap 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 18:59

50- dude 60% of america is obese, and the economy is facked, i prefer canada a lot more.

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:10

60 percent? Really? Your saying if I picked out a random American there would be a six in ten chance that they're obese? Get some facts. But I'd rather live in Canada too.