Intimacy: One day…

FML for mobile
Free

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 291

You deserved it 17 112

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 649

You deserved it 9 943

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 926

You deserved it 58 644

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 257

You deserved it 4 800

Very posh

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 404

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 343

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 192

You deserved it 584

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 4 610

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 589

You deserved it 5 642

No sex for you

By oops - 03/07/2021 13:59

Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 994

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 238

You deserved it 23 017

89jessica 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 23:28

I have two words for you: Lightsaber battles.

explodingmuffint 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 23:25

You should have told her you took up drugs instead.

Comments

alissa_roar 6

Saturday 19 March 2011 10:26

Tell her "none special enough to share such an intimate moment with" That'll shut her up.

sexyredhead8 0

Monday 28 March 2011 2:36

funny mom :)

ekb294 4

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:45

lmao that's so classic!

Lallafa 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 20:06

It's pretty funny when posters are so prudish and have such shitty relationships with their parents that they feel an offhand joke is at all momentous.

COOL_beans27 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:26

=o gasp!! 89jessica that's the first thing that popped in my mind when I first read this!! LOL yes I can imagine it now.... I just got mind ******.... thank god their wearing condoms!