Awkward, Drugs and Health: One-upmanship championship

One-upmanship championship

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 771

You deserved it 2 997

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Same thing different taste

By tokinallday - 02/01/2015 19:23 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 371

You deserved it 2 505

By EgoMoose - 28/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 438

You deserved it 5 795

That's what a druggie would claim

By Chris Bores - 20/11/2020 08:03 - United States - Prince Frederick

Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 79

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 422

You deserved it 2 464

By the attention seeker - 17/04/2013 21:57 - United States - North Miami Beach

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 4 317

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 960

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 22:24 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 2 017

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 157

You deserved it 4 856

Special kind of not funny

By BDSarah - 17/09/2019 16:00

Today, my mom introduced me to everyone we met as her "special needs child." They all seemed to believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 143

hghrider123456 9

Friday 18 October 2013 12:07

Say 'I only copy what I see you do mother"

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 18 October 2013 12:07

It sucks OP but let them test you and let's see who will laugh last. Anyway, looks like your mother has got some serious attention seeking issues...

Comments

cheesynacho47 20

Friday 6 March 2015 8:06

Wow. That is a true attention *****..Maybe you could confront her and see if she has the nerve to say that lie to your face?

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The Top

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 3 034

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 478

The Top

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 655

You deserved it 51 991

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, becausen "WiFi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 925

You deserved it 4 220

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 440

You deserved it 3 297

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 8 260

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 693

You deserved it 9 060

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 129

You deserved it 6 152

One-upmanship championship

Same thing different taste

That's what a druggie would claim

Special kind of not funny

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