Painful and Health: Ouch - FML

Ouch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 505

You deserved it 10 320

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 049

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 28 784

Time to go wireless

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 355

You deserved it 3 480

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

There's no justice

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 877

You deserved it 2 626

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 1 061

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 246

You deserved it 3 508

Next

Top comments

salmendoza9 0

Friday 17 December 2010 16:03

ouch!!!

perdix 29

Friday 17 December 2010 16:57

If my ass-hair were long, I wouldn't brush it -- I'd get it shaved or waxed off. Not so much for the vanity, but to combat the dingleberry plague. I guess I'd miss the cushioning when I sit down, though ;(

Comments

Ketchup_Castle 30

Monday 5 September 2011 4:30

This happened to me when I was a kid.

krazy_guera23 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:09

I swear this happens every morning to me. But i have two. I feel your pain.

tannerianian 11

Sunday 11 December 2011 22:36

Keep it out. Clean it with 1/4th teaspoon of sea salt and a cup of water twice a day. NO hydrogen pry oxide. Hope this helps

Coffeebang 17

Friday 10 February 2012 12:02

Ouch

TrippingOnAcid 29

Friday 27 April 2012 19:16

Ouch, I know for a fact that that hurts like a bitch

Missy612 14

Thursday 24 May 2012 5:09

HOLY **** THAT MUSTA HURT!!!

jessicachapo 1

Monday 10 September 2012 4:20

omg that hurts ive done that not once but twice

thecreepypotato 0

Tuesday 26 February 2013 4:29

I just got an ear cartilage piercing... Ouch man, FYL

brennaaa13 11

Sunday 7 July 2013 18:41

That mess hurts.

Julesie 9

Friday 8 November 2013 5:56

I know your pain..... I've been scared to comb my hair since I got mine. (Yes I still do comb it xD)

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 1 841

Today, I was making a TikTok in the bathroom mirror. Right as I was finishing up, my little brother burst in, shouted, "That's going on YouTube!" and ran off. Guess what he did five minutes later? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 598

Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 385

You deserved it 9 524

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 137

You deserved it 2 144

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 2 585

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 014

You deserved it 2 888