Books, Gross and Education: Hand me downs

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 169

You deserved it 1 061

New Year, New Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 625

You deserved it 3 772

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Busted

By blububble412 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Sierra Vista

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 549

You deserved it 2 533

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Just browsing

By OneGirlsLife - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 042

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 182

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 3 950

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 927

You deserved it 3 338

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

may14th 26

Friday 6 May 2016 10:09

I'm hoping it's just clippings and not their entire finger nails. Because that would be a whole other issue.

CogadhTallon 16

Friday 6 May 2016 10:17

Sounds like a nail-biting book.

Comments

may14th 26

Friday 6 May 2016 10:09

I'm hoping it's just clippings and not their entire finger nails. Because that would be a whole other issue.

AlwaysWatching 27

Friday 6 May 2016 22:55

I only clicked on the comments to see how long it took for someone to say that

Earths_Venus 25

Friday 6 May 2016 10:14

Comment #1 nailed it.

CogadhTallon 16

Friday 6 May 2016 10:17

Sounds like a nail-biting book.

chitochito 17

Friday 6 May 2016 12:48

Well, that's Michigan for ya.

Benmantha 31

Friday 6 May 2016 13:55

I guess the previous owner nailed it.

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 6 May 2016 14:14

Call it clip art... Or not.

Saikon1357 25

Friday 6 May 2016 18:20

Ah yes, public education

anyagrande 31

Friday 6 May 2016 23:14

I always pray that things like this don't happen to me at school

vandj8 9

Saturday 7 May 2016 6:41

be happy it wasn't a dried up booger - I've found my share in library books.

GreyGirl 15

Saturday 7 May 2016 18:29

Someone drew a giant penis on m geometry book

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 September 2023 3:25

You mean a cylinder with a hemisphere at the end and two ellipsoids of revolution at the bottom. It's all geometry!

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 471

You deserved it 1 271

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 297

You deserved it 2 877

Today, I had a piano exam, for which I'd worked hard. I went in, and the examiner asked me to play some scales. I was so nervous, I played 3 octaves and then realised I'd ran out of space. I might have then said, "FUCK!" really loudly… and she heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 390

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 603

You deserved it 5 531

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 8 508

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 083

You deserved it 3 270

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 621

You deserved it 4 383

Same thing different taste

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