Miscellaneous: Pace yourself

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Pace yourself

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 16:39 - United States

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 075

You deserved it 44 871

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Same thing different taste

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 3 724

By Thefaller - 11/07/2019 16:00

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 885

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 661

You deserved it 76 941

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 683

You deserved it 8 850

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 2 842

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 2 366

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 134

You deserved it 46 998

Gross, dudes!

By notsick - 17/03/2019 22:00

Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 217

Sobering

By Anonymous - 23/02/2022 02:59

Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 959

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 028

You deserved it 115 237

Hisoka_fml 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 22:42

Epic fail. Noob.

itsmeppl 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:16

uhhhh, ur profile pic was taken in front of a toilet!....

Comments

TheOtherNewest1 6

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:02

Pathetic.

mintcar 9

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:03

Wow, you really fail. Were you trying to impress?

perdix 29

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:07

I hope the girls were ugly, and they you cut out their tongues so they couldn't tell the hot ones what an ass you are.

Tikwichka 5

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:54

Is that an error I see there? For shame.

DocBastard 38

Friday 8 October 2010 2:07

Newsflash! perdix is human... Film at 11.

perdix 29

Friday 8 October 2010 3:37

Tikwichka, Thanks for reading my comment more carefully than I did. I just banged out this comment on my iPhone just before I had a job interview. Please excuse me for being a bit distracted. I was applying to be a coppy edditer. jkjkjk

lovelyliz916 5

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:10

Ewww your nasty, but at least you know your limits now :P

ShadowPunkChick 1

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:10

You deserve it for being an idiot!

Annihilator 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 23:10

N00b= FAIL! It's quick, simple and easy to understand! Try not to impress girls, one of my friends did that and ended up losing his teeth. They laugh at him then walked away. Next time punch them instead.