Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday:... - FML

By trice - 08/05/2013 17:48 - United States - Austin

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 373

You deserved it 4 301

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Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 97

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 173

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 867

You deserved it 21 871

By Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 3 467

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:33 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 399

You deserved it 2 320

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 1 155

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 103

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 802

You deserved it 3 405

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 356

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 367

Next

Top comments

abbttmc 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday now it's 4 people :)

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Aw, shit, you mean your dentist forgot? If you show Denny's your driver's license, they'll suddenly remember and give you some free food!

Comments

abbttmc 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday now it's 4 people :)

Ambient25 24

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:11

Except Grumpycat

MindFreakazoid 10

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:23

Soon, it'll be over at least 40 people. Happy birthday, OP.

fishstick557 14

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:38

Look at all these happy birthdays! :) happy birthday OP!!!!

Catkam623 27

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:39

Happy birthday!!!!!! get wasted and celebrate.

syck_fml 3

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:51

Get a Facebook. Then you will have 1 more to your total

Ambient25 24

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:02

If she downgraded though and got a Myspace she'd have Tom as a friend....

depocadoll 15

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:30

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm sorry you didn't get more in person, that's pretty crummy.

doctor_glitter 6

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:00

Happy anniversary of the day you were squeezed out of a birthing canal!

AKGirlinSD 20

Thursday 9 May 2013 8:10

^She could have been cut out :-). Either way, Happy Bithday, Original Poster!

SuperSofie 23

Thursday 9 May 2013 9:00

Happy Birthday OP!

lmngrl889 14

Thursday 9 May 2013 9:44

happy birthday!!

asimplesharpie 7

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday!!!

Ambient25 24

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:03

Sad to see her parents didn't say anything :(

zandalee 19

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:34

I know right. Damn sad! Happy happy birthday OP!! Go and do something you love!

KyraJFoxx 14

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday :)

Damian95 16

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:12

Haha at least someone cares.

ChrisWaines 9

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

That bites, I'm sorry. If it helps, happy birthday!

Phoebe_Buffay 14

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:58

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP! :))

CupOTea666 9

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:58

Happy Birthday!!! ;)

IAmJad 18

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:19

Because 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 saying it wasn't enough. Can we get some variety in the comments?

jackiemora 18

Thursday 9 May 2013 7:58

no.

IAmJad 18

Saturday 11 May 2013 20:03

It's not your decision. Nah nah na boo boo

rt567 15

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

aww, happy birthday though!

BlackPhenom 9

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Look on the bright side: no awkward stares at random spots when people are singing you happy birthday! No? Aw right then. P.S happy birthday!

LaughinStock 16

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:35

Ha there's still awkward spots when people do know you. Some friends call me by my nick name or my real name. It'll be "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday dear mmmmmmeehhhmmmmm Happy Birthday..." :D Happy Birthday Op!

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Aw, shit, you mean your dentist forgot? If you show Denny's your driver's license, they'll suddenly remember and give you some free food!

MichellinMan 20

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:40

Holy shit I'm doing that!

Pstraka6 20

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Happy Birthday! What arr you doin on here?! Call the girls up, forget about that, and have a damn good time out on the town sweetheart!

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:29

I'm pretty sure your "arr" was a typo, but it made me read your comment in a pirate voice.

Ambient25 24

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:32

"Arr have a good time out in town sweetheart!" Aww a well mannered pirate :)

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:50

Polite pirate cares about your happiness!

smiliecat 13

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:45

61- Polite Pirate should be a meme.

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 9 May 2013 6:45

113 - I agree!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 162

Today I woke up with an extremely bad flu and severe nausea. As I rolled around wanting to die I remembered that 4 days prior, I had hoped to get a cold to skip a compulsary carol service for my Catholic school. Now, on Christmas Eve, I just want to say, be careful what you wish for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 322

You deserved it 1 740

Today, my long-distance boyfriend decided to tell me he found a girl in his hometown he’s become attracted to, and that he doesn’t love me anymore. He says we can "still be friends." I’d just driven 100 miles to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 130

Today, I was fired. Last week, I was written up because I came in one minute late from lunch break. The week before, I was yelled at for yawning. I found out it was all a plan for my boss’s favorite employee to get promoted to my position, so they wanted a reason to terminate me. I work in an “at will” state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 155

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 044

You deserved it 5 135

Today, I was in Brooklyn for a meeting. I parked my car but my iPhone didn’t save my location. Where is my car? Called NYPD. No car towed. I had to walk 3 hours in the rain to find it thanks to the “Panic” button. So glad I found my car, but the “Loud Panic” button didn’t want to stop for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 2 088