Paradise Lost

By IndieRox - 28/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Spicy
Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 539
You deserved it 3 304
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Top comments

FerrariCake 2

Why the hell would you go all the way to Hawaii just to spend the entire time in bed together? You could have saved a lot of money and just spent the entire week in bed together at home. Then you could have gone to Hawaii when you were able to go outside and appreciate it. Kanaloa was angry with you for being stupid, and commanded the fish to give you food poisoning.

42 5
DameGreyWulf 0

Aww... well... at least you're together? Think about how horny and wild the sex will be after waiting for so long, with such anticipation having built up before hand!

24 0

Comments

maisie2 0

That really sucks, but you'll think it's hilarious in 30 years time.

1 1
Vagrarian 2

Yup...this'll be something you laugh about when you tell your grandkids. Think of it this way...it can only get better from here!

1 1
zargon 1

Gah! What's with all of the FMLs presenting a question (or, in this case, two questions) that nobody wanted to ask, and then answering them? It's passable as a rhetorical device in an essay, but it makes you sound stupid in an FML.

3 6
SenGaeriel 3

Think of it this way, OP. You and your new husband must love each other a lot to spend the whole time in the same bed together while suffering through food poisoning.

0 2
hunterjumper24 0

for better of for worse, through sickness and in health..

2 1
myfriend_youfail 3

HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That happened to my parents on their first Christmas being married. They went to this restaurant for dinner. They didn't realize it was also a culinary school and that some student had left out the tapioca pudding too long. They were down and out for two whole days, sick as hell. I think it's this weird sort of curse that falls upon newlyweds. Food poisoning always seems to happen in that first year. Lol. ......God help me when I get married... O_O

1 0
alwaysalady 0

That sucks. But, now you know if you really want to be with this person. How someone acts when they are sick is who they really are

0 2
_adidas_1 0

this is a lie... food poisoning typically lasts for less than a day. once you expel the toxins from your body (puking it up) you should be fine. fake fml fail.

0 5
ludoandthelion 0

Actually, true food poisoning can last several days. It is often caused by bacteria which leads to an infection. The food may be gone but the bacteria stick around. The "food poisoning" that kicks in within minutes of eating and lasts about 24 hours is, in fact, not food poisoning at all but rather a bad reaction to the food (too much seasoning, fat etc).

1 0
jelmermcgee 8

No, there are different types of food poisoning. Too much seasoning can make you sick but that is not food poisoning. If there is a toxin in the food it can cause sickness within minutes. And who know? Maybe they got some really shitty food that got 'em sick right away and they got salmonella (That shit sucks and will ruin anybody's week)

0 0
borabora1991 0

I think we can all agree here that adidas' comment was wrong. There, problem solved. :)

1 0
guckylynn 19

unless they have ecoli or salmonella...

0 1
doof_fisch 2

Well now you're famous............the only tourists to go to Hawaii and not get a lei.

2 0