Holidays: Paradise Lost

Paradise Lost

By IndieRox - 28/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 539

You deserved it 3 304

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Same thing different taste

By superman21 - 28/09/2014 22:55 - Ireland

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 6 565

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 744

You deserved it 5 876

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 502

You deserved it 5 059

By snarly1 - 03/01/2012 08:14 - United States

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 855

You deserved it 2 498

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 617

You deserved it 8 230

Sightseeing

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 16:00 - France - Paris

Today, it's been five days since I finally made it to my dream vacation destination, after months of planning, saving, and dreaming. I got food poisoning within hours of arriving and I've spent the last five days in my hotel room, staring at a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 78

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 728

You deserved it 17 290

By Travellingluck - 20/10/2017 16:12

Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 269

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 5 916

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:44

Why the hell would you go all the way to Hawaii just to spend the entire time in bed together? You could have saved a lot of money and just spent the entire week in bed together at home. Then you could have gone to Hawaii when you were able to go outside and appreciate it. Kanaloa was angry with you for being stupid, and commanded the fish to give you food poisoning.

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:40

Aww... well... at least you're together? Think about how horny and wild the sex will be after waiting for so long, with such anticipation having built up before hand!

Comments

Hello_Its_Julio 0

Monday 20 June 2011 8:14

hey at least your together(:

Danigirl_416 3

Monday 22 August 2011 4:00

Sounds like my honeymoon 5 months ago! Except we were in Mexico and it was just my husband who was violently ill. Being the good wife, I stayed by his side.

Christianrules 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:54

Gay

violetwonder 9

Thursday 5 July 2012 4:24

Aww, sorry OP :( That sounds awful! Just think though,later you'll be able laugh about it.

w_haleigh 4

Saturday 17 May 2014 23:03

That sounds horrible! But at least you're married now! :)

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:30

Good bonding time...maybe a second honey moon wouldn't be a bad idea

Blade Sorren 5

Sunday 14 January 2018 8:37

Yes I have been in this same situation almost! It was really awkward..... We were on vacation on a Royal Caribbean ship having a mighty pleasant time. We stopped in St. John, St. Martin, Turks & Caicos..... Romantic, huh? Were we banging every night? God no. Hahahahahaha. This is me before we go "I can't wait to bang on vacation." every day in my mind.... "Are we going to get it on yet?" Finally like the last night on ship we get it on it was probably the most boring intercourse of our entire relationship haha. Maybe because there was no weed? Hmm.