Miscellaneous: Pay up

Pay up

By ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV - 07/11/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 329

You deserved it 4 911

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Same thing different taste

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 06:00

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 364

By doblex - 20/12/2012 11:19 - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 387

You deserved it 9 061

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

Caveman behaviour

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 04:00

Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 2 434

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 5 909

By OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 3 006

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 292

You deserved it 24 356

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 945

You deserved it 20 204

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 161

You deserved it 54 041

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

fuckyou1337 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:37

That's gonna get thrown out of court rather quickly. Also, sue him bactoor the emotional trauma you suffered of walking in on a robbery :P

SaintJimmy 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:32

Nobody said our justice system was perfect, but it still sucks super bad for you.

Comments

STAZ211 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 15:19

The fact that cases like this get through is complete crap. He broke into your house, you have every right to beat the living shit out of him. I'm tired of this liberal bullshit. How the hell can they possibly provide a defense for that? By breaking in he was threatening your property and your saftey, and you have every right to defend it. I'm losing all faith in humanity with this bullshit. Seriously, appeal that. You dont need to pay for that crap.

mas19 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 15:28

What The ****?!! How stupid are people?!

popemichael 9

Sunday 8 November 2009 15:32

That's pretty shitty! Get yourself a good lawyer and counter sue him for court costs and hurting your hand on his face. Good luck!

Canadian242 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:04

Only in America.... that's fubar that something like that actually makes it to court

Starsmydog 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:22

Fail.. this is fake, you probably mimicked this off of Boston Legal...

spellfire 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:26

So...he still intends to rob you, only legally, now? A persistent one...I hope you beat him again, now in the court. OP, this story must have been resolved by now. Tell us how it ended!

BikerMike 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:46

should have killed the mother ****** and dumped his body about 100 miles away.

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 16 April 2017 18:52

In the US, you can get sued for any reason by anybody. Doesn't automatically mean tho that you will lose.... :-)

WintressSoldier37 27

Monday 20 July 2020 3:26

Sounds like the case that was in the movie Liar Liar

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 10 July 2021 0:29

Actually, you and your lawyer setting up the death of a thousand papercuts of proof that will lead to this judge laughing it out of court should make this the most entertaining trial you've ever been in.