Pipe down, Brenda

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 19:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 965
You deserved it 1 523
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Top comments

doubledee8 16

Tell her to go flippity flappity f**k herself and that she could do that in her marriage not yours

582 5

Comments

Imthedaddy11 16

YDI for not telling her that isn't her place and if she can't understand that, then she can leave and not come back

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wow2mylife 25

sounds like my mom wedding with her aunt though

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acmariner99 25

Ahh ... It is FMLs like this why I am so glad my wife and I got married at a courthouse ... Minimal planning, minimal money spent, and no drama. We couldn't be happier.

3 1
lifes_rough23 8

damn what kind of shit is that?! that's going to ruin your marriage if she keeps interfering! sorry OP.

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jay_south 19

As a guy who is currently engaged, I can say with almost 100% certainty that he is looking forward to having you 'defile' him. As for me… my mom has a picture frame labeled 'grandkids' already. :-/

6 1
mariri9206 32

Uh, stand up for yourelf and tell her "No. It's not YOUR wedding - it's MY wedding. That means my choice, my decision, not yours. And you're not invited to come on the honeymoon because, again, it's not yours. This is our wedding and our honeymoon - it's not about you or what you want. It's about us and what we want. We get to make all and the final decisions, not you, and it's up to us if you even get to be involved in the planning process. And, if you can't reign it in and be able to let me make the decisions for my wedding, then you can't be involved in any of the pre-wedding festivities/planning. You will get to know nothing about what's going on or have any of that information. The only thing you'll get to know is the date, time, and place as well as where we're registered when you get your save the date and invitation."

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IorvethTheXolo 8

Something needs to change BEFORE the wedding, not after. Now, I know people are jumping on the "Run, bitch, run" bandwagon because this is how the rest of your life will be if you marry this guy but, if you haven't given him a chance to fix it, have a serious talk with him and give him the chance to do it. It CAN be done. My husband and I both come from severely dysfunctional families, but we both turned out differently. I don't give a rat's ass about other people's opinions because I got tired of all the negativity being aimed my way my whole life. He ended up a people pleaser. He just wanted everyone to get along. He is a much nicer person than I am and he just so desperately wants to see people happy, but it bit him in the ass. Long story short, his family took advantage him for years until I showed him what they were doing. There is more distance between him and his family, but the relationship is much healthier for it. He talks to them frequently, but there is no more boundary crossing and my husband is so much happier now the he isn't trying to singlehandedly make everyone happy. It's been several years and he has no regrets about what he did to reclaim control of his life.

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mariri9206 32

THIS. So much this. I've seen so many comments telling OP not to marry him because he won't stand up to his mom but how do they even he hasn't stood up to her? The Monster-In-Law could have just done/said this and the Husband-to-be could have not been around and, therefore, not known about it right away. OP (and her SO) should definitely stand up to his mother but give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to talk to her/do something about it before being all "leave him now before it's too late" and "he's never gonna stand up to her so you shouldn't marry him" - that is not how relationships work. You have to give them a chance before deciding it won't work and calling it quits. Everyone saying to leave him before it's too late, etc, etc, have absolutely no idea what he did or didn't do. This is just one part of the story and mostly everyone is just jumping to conclusions and decided he did absolutely nothing. We won't know if he did something or not unless OP decides to post a follow up.

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