Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Play your cards right

Play your cards right

By ShinobiForLife - 23/03/2022 18:01

Today, I realised that I keep both Naruto collecting cards and a condom in the same pocket of my wallet. Nothing says sexy quite like dropping a bunch of Gaara cards before getting it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 156

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Oops

By Hornymuch - 02/11/2012 11:35 - Germany

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 125

You deserved it 28 925

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 5 610

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 634

Celebrate good times come on!

By badplacerightnow - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - Frisco

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 991

You deserved it 9 234

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 4 100

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 48 793

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 4 503

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 977

You deserved it 9 414

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 5 507

By WTF - 22/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 515

You deserved it 3 004

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

CuriousEKitty 21

Wednesday 23 March 2022 19:56

Let's hope the person you are trying to perform shadow clone sexy jutsu with accepts all of you and you can laugh about it later ^^

Lydmyers 9

Friday 25 March 2022 8:02

Find the right person, and it would be sexy 😉

Emily Mariah 8

Tuesday 29 March 2022 6:50

no that's pretty awesome lmao I get hype every time I watch him and rock lees fight!!! no matter how many times so I'd think it would be pretty cool.

Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Awkward Dentist Health Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Job interview Clothes Work Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents AITA Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 330

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 196

You deserved it 2 882

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 533

You deserved it 5 647

Today, my boyfriend declared he doesn't feel ready to move in with me for at least "some more years". We have already been together for five years. When he bought an apartment one year ago, he kept it a secret for three months. Maybe I should learn to take a hint. Or several hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 908

You deserved it 4 685

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 143

You deserved it 2 680

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 337

You deserved it 2 138

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 458