Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Play your cards right

Play your cards right

By ShinobiForLife - 23/03/2022 18:01

Today, I realised that I keep both Naruto collecting cards and a condom in the same pocket of my wallet. Nothing says sexy quite like dropping a bunch of Gaara cards before getting it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 158

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Same thing different taste

Oops

By Hornymuch - 02/11/2012 11:35 - Germany

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 125

You deserved it 28 929

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 241

You deserved it 5 612

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 635

Celebrate good times come on!

By badplacerightnow - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - Frisco

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 993

You deserved it 9 234

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 024

You deserved it 4 100

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 48 795

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 542

You deserved it 4 503

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 9 415

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 5 507

By WTF - 22/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 520

You deserved it 3 004

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

CuriousEKitty 21

Wednesday 23 March 2022 19:56

Let's hope the person you are trying to perform shadow clone sexy jutsu with accepts all of you and you can laugh about it later ^^

Lydmyers 9

Friday 25 March 2022 8:02

Find the right person, and it would be sexy 😉

Emily Mariah 8

Tuesday 29 March 2022 6:50

no that's pretty awesome lmao I get hype every time I watch him and rock lees fight!!! no matter how many times so I'd think it would be pretty cool.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 894

You deserved it 47 627

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 42 877

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 314

You deserved it 16 696

Today, we all know the expression “Salt in your wounds” and it sounds rather unpleasant, right? Well, I just managed to breathe in while biting into an egg, so trust me, salt in your lungs isn’t great, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 197

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 567

You deserved it 41 370

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 21 617