Please…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 110
You deserved it 66 300

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why is it when people see hand lotion they automatically think of masturbation? I would have played it off as having dry skin.

Comments

Clandestine_x 0

The reason I am so, so glad for my laptop... Always clean up after!

Slayer_fml 0

40 has it right. People in the Islamic and Jewish communities have been practicing circumcision for thousands of years; Americans only picked it up fairly recently. And yeah, it did start out as a cleanliness thing - you have to be more careful if you're uncut about cleaning yourself. In this day and age, it really doesn't make that much of a difference if you're careful. And people who are calling it mutilation are being ridiculous - people get piercings and tattoos and all sorts of plastic surgeries that change the body just as much, if not more. And honestly, guys who are circumcised tend to like that, and guys who aren't tend to like their own way... so what's the big ******* deal?

shadexilmaendu 4

My only issue with it is I've known guys who wished they had the choice in the matter o.o I dated a guy once who was really pissed about it because he was circumcised as a baby and he really wanted to have kept his foreskin... As far as sanitation goes it's as simple as pulling it back in the shower every day... I mean, idk about all dudes but as a chick I wash up extra clean in the intimate regions... Haha, never look ip circumcision on isitnormal. Some of the stories are just horrifying... Guys who literally never learned to wash themselves to the foreskin won't pull back >.O they really should do more to prepare people for parenting if you can't teach your kid to wash his junk

#43@ A piercing is voluntary, cutting of a peice of flesh from a baby who cannot speak is not. The deal is you shouldn't be pushing your pain onto your child. And why are people acting like it's so difficult to clean it? It's no harder than cleaning your ******* vulva (Maybe the girls on FML don't clean down there? Guess what, the same smega builds up, should we cut off everyone's labia too?) it takes like 2 seconds, and the foreskin preserves sensitivity in the head, where as a circumcised penis dries out and creates a slight callous. Then again you wouldn't know what you were missing =P

Aflacduck 0

I read an article about half a year ago on an 8 year old boy with a serious infection. His parents were split up and the only way to get rid of his infection was to cut the foreskin off. This parents had conflicting religions and his father wanted it cut and his mother didn't. They constantly battled back and forth until it was ruled to be cut for medical purposes. Circumcision does have benefits and it isn't some mutilation ritual to destroy the bodies of babies as some less-informed people here have claimed. #44, I'm not missing much to know that I can piss hands free XD (assuming I can aim!)

#45 I'm sorry the parents were too inept to teach their kids how to properly clean themselves. Pathetic. The benefits it provides are completely useless compared to the fact that you are removing a part of their body that serves a function. Why do you think virtually no health organization on earth recommends it? Most people in defense of it are just cut themselves and feel like they are being attacked when circumcision is, I just feel bad if they take that irrational defensive attitude and force their children to under go something they haven no say in.

lol i remember moderating this one. still funny after reading it a second time

bella_brasil 0

GB2Gaia Animejet, stop arguing about guys dongs.

orwellian1984 0

#'s 28, 31, 33, 40, 45 and so forth: I don't care what you think it looks like, who cares, we're just not used to the sight. All I know is that I've been with both uncut and cut (two of each actually), my friends have been with both, and we've all come to the same conclusions (not to mention that my gender and sexuality classes have pointed out both of these things too): 1. Why do you think that extra skin is there in the first place? Note, the lack of hand lotion, it helps to glide something around the penis more smoothly, i.e. when a penis is in a ******, it makes it so much more smooth, comfortable, and without all the chaffing that can occurring from the hand penis head always exposed. It's there for a reason and sex is much more pleasurable for women with it, no matter what people think it looks like. 2. The long exposure of constantly rubbing on clothes etc. makes the nerves in the head of the penis a lot more desensitized. Generally its easy and a lot more enjoyable for a uncut guy to get off than a cut guy. Despite what it looks like, I've found tons of women (and even studies in my classes) have some to the same conclusion: its a lot more enjoyable for both parties when its uncut.

randomdude1234 0