Please…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 110
You deserved it 66 300
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Top comments

Jaxro 6

Why is it when people see hand lotion they automatically think of masturbation? I would have played it off as having dry skin.

113 1

Comments

7_______7_______ 0

at least she knows how to change the background... 21st century and my mom doesn't even understand that a laptop can still run if it's unplugged...

0 0
itsTiffany 0

Haha that sucks but YDI! Don't forget your lotion next time ;)

0 0
_violet_ 0

I don't get how she would tie hand lotion to masturbation. Just say you were using it as... oh I don't know... lotion for your hands?

0 1
rabbi1010 29

Maybe that tipped her off to look at the browser history.

2 1
unibrowicorn 0

what is it with all the epic mom/masterbating cases on this site? I have a giant bottle of lotion in my bathroom.I hope MY mom doesn't get suspicious of my lovely,not-dry skin...O_o

0 0
quesoesbueno59 0

At least you don't have the parents who told you not to ********** at all. They leave it open so that you can use your own computer.

1 2
Geeky_Warrior 0

ouch... but yeah, did ya leave the history up too? if then you're pretty ******. Sorries :3 #11, I used to think that in this day and age, how could any adult not know how to use a computer properly? But then I thought, I bet my mom can change a diaper and do tons of stuff that I can't . It's all in perspective :P

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fmobus 0

The fact you need hand lotion for masturbating tells me you are circumsized (sp?). Gotta love americans... mutilate your children so they won't **********.

0 1
danielr1219 0

just cuz your circomsized doesnt mean you need lotion..

4 1
thirdbase1733 0

its a religious sect. God instructed Abraham or someone to circumsize his servants and family

1 3
Puolukka 4

#17 you crack me up...that's what I think all the time :P

0 0
wholeon 0

Actually, #19, it is done in an attempt to repress sexuality, lust, etc. Basically anything that doesn't lead to baby-makin' for Jesus. Though #17, I never made the connection quite so clearly...I'm always just like "WTF are these dudes DOING?!" I, too, use lotion on my hands. Get some KY like a normal person.

0 0
Callyn 47

#19: That's the original intention of American circumcision. People have forgotten that and deceived themselves that it is healthier or more pleasurable for the woman, but it's pure genital mutilation.

0 0