Intimacy: Pleased to see me? - FML

Pleased to see me?

By kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 242

You deserved it 6 722

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 962

You deserved it 21 614

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 788

By Tinker-Bell - 21/11/2008 03:41 - France

Spicy

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your dick back in here right now!" A voice then replied, "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 231

You deserved it 18 016

A good yanking

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 733

You deserved it 6 765

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 258

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 600

You deserved it 8 131

By Sicko - 28/08/2010 23:52 - France

Spicy

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 964

You deserved it 26 083

Tell, don't show

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 10:07

Spicy

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 2 595

By mongoosemike - 07/06/2011 05:55

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 838

You deserved it 29 535

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 659

Next

Top comments

yakturk43 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:19

win for saying wankerstick lol

bhangu023 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:26

ahaha u shud of been like i'm givin it som morning fresh air

Comments

spooner706 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:34

lol walk around naked who cares it's your house! its Not likes shes Never Seen à dick!

thats_awesome 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:43

that sucks dude

baybe143 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:47

Lmao

HeresReality 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:48

I hate the gap in boxers, no one even uses it!

eric62086 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:49

it happens

shadow33456 1

Wednesday 20 January 2010 3:02

happend to me but my balls where hanging out

lolfmlfail 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 3:03

YDI for calling it wanker stick

Viper32233223 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 3:08

better tel her it's her turn now lol

vi2014 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 3:12

keep it in ur pants lol

jim54_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 3:18

gotta button em up bro

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Shoes Cars Transportation Insurance Health Work Love Cheating Awkward Embarrassing Clumsy Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I took my cat for a very short car ride in her new carrier. I’ve left it out for weeks to let her get used to it, and before this she was relaxed enough to nap in it. Now, she won’t go near it no matter how many treats I use. I move cross country in June. Back to the drawing board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 188

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 4 035

The Top

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 424

You deserved it 25 983

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 138

You deserved it 4 487

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my electric piano. It seems my cat is Mozart's reincarnation and, after finding out how to turn the piano on, decided that 3 a.m. is a good time to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 034

You deserved it 479

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 538

You deserved it 2 420

Today, I failed my driving test. Why? Before I even began driving, someone hit my car while it was still parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 79

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 5 760