Proportional response - FML

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 176

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Same thing different taste

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 174

You deserved it 35 023

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 175

By rosmaizura - 01/10/2010 07:39 - Malaysia

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 436

You deserved it 22 388

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 147

By zazzleface - 09/04/2012 12:23 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 289

You deserved it 2 375

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 940

You deserved it 1 686

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 35 611

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 125

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 884

You deserved it 5 818

Next

Top comments

Marcella1016 31

Friday 16 October 2020 18:40

I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?

Kris Phillips 3

Friday 16 October 2020 17:01

Go to your room young man? And stay there?

Comments

Kris Phillips 3

Friday 16 October 2020 17:01

Go to your room young man? And stay there?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 16 October 2020 17:51

That's a pretty ******* lame excuse for saying **** when you shouldn't be saying ****. You should have the ******* self-control to reserve **** for important things like commenting at FuckMyLife.

Marcella1016 31

Friday 16 October 2020 18:40

I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?

jfigley 5

Friday 16 October 2020 23:26

Hahaha! Wow that comment is awesome. Thats hilarious....Perfect response

spinspinsugar 12

Friday 16 October 2020 20:03

the house ****** burned down and all she cared about was you saying ****? for **** sakes!!

noporn4u 9

Friday 16 October 2020 22:31

Keep spitting hot fire and you'll start another blaze!

icalledhisname 12

Friday 16 October 2020 23:37

I think this is the most unique FML I have seen and I love it. Definitely FYL, OP. So dumb! The fire sucks then your mom’s reaction to you swearing sucks. If there’s ever an appropriate time to swear, that would be it.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 17 October 2020 0:37

"Yeah? Where the **** am I supposed to stay? My room is ash."

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 19 October 2020 4:14

Given the whole pandemic situation, I don't suppose moving out is an option. And your mom should be grateful you both got out safely.

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Monday 19 October 2020 7:41

Grounded in what home? Like Jesus **** you some parents are stupid.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 93

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 4 987

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 942

You deserved it 3 933

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I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 113

Today, I got a better job offer out of the blue, more pay, less work. I informally accepted and handed my notice as legally required. They rescinded the job offer. I'm now unemployed at the end of hiring season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 244

Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 150