Animals: Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted,... - FML

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 125

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Same thing different taste

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

By lindsey789 - 07/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 3 035

By woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 594

You deserved it 3 451

By yourebeautiful - 31/12/2011 20:37 - United States

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 2 829

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 680

You deserved it 55 061

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 8 745

Good boy

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 00:51 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 079

You deserved it 2 920

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 159

You deserved it 3 614

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 854

You deserved it 51 891

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 181

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Top comments

almost_there44 26

Sunday 25 September 2016 3:23

If you get grounded for something that mundane, I wonder what would happen if you do something like breaking curfew. Your mom should probably be taking discipline lessons from you.

Killswitchknot 20

Sunday 25 September 2016 3:03

Why would you get grounded for yelling at a dog? I couldn't imagine what the punishment would be for disciplining it

Comments

Killswitchknot 20

Sunday 25 September 2016 3:03

Why would you get grounded for yelling at a dog? I couldn't imagine what the punishment would be for disciplining it

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 25 September 2016 3:08

Dogs don't like jokes. I do my standup act in front of my dog, and nothing, crickets! I bring out the cheese and she's my biggest fan!

almost_there44 26

Sunday 25 September 2016 3:23

If you get grounded for something that mundane, I wonder what would happen if you do something like breaking curfew. Your mom should probably be taking discipline lessons from you.

platinum9 16

Sunday 25 September 2016 4:01

That's a stupid thing to get grounded for.

Notesz_b 13

Sunday 25 September 2016 4:34

I'm sorry...What? Was she drunk? I'm lost. Follow-up is heavily needed here.

HollowMamba25 7

Sunday 25 September 2016 4:47

I understood that reference.

heatherrr17 19

Sunday 25 September 2016 4:53

Wow! How old r u!??

kirbo2 21

Sunday 25 September 2016 4:58

Haha, whoops

stellasue11 38

Sunday 25 September 2016 6:10

your mom sounds bitchy

tmj25789 23

Sunday 25 September 2016 8:13

If you were jokingly yelling language, did she jokingly ground you?

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The Top

Today, I work as an executive assistant. My French boss wanted to do business with a big American customer, so he sent her an email suggesting a meeting. He copied me so that I could arrange said meeting. He had written, "Have your ass talk to my ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 120

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 156

You deserved it 6 146

The Top

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 419

Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 98

Today, I accidentally came out to my nan. She decided that this is unacceptable, and has made it her mission to 'convert' me. It's also the day we arrived in an isolated spot in Spain for a 20-day holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 744

You deserved it 901

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 76 581

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 94

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 847

You deserved it 6 002