Gross, Motorbike and Animals: Protein

Protein

By Nearly Crashed - 27/05/2013 13:42 - United States - Lake Hiawatha

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 466

You deserved it 9 106

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Same thing different taste

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 926

You deserved it 3 962

By Knaxer - 12/12/2015 17:22 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 6 583

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 250

By Brandon Butler - 04/03/2011 09:22

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 645

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 3 139

By Anonymous - 27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 713

You deserved it 5 390

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 963

You deserved it 8 694

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 19:02 - United States

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 8 260

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 315

By jreed509 - 03/07/2011 05:25 - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 4 116

Mr_Satan 11

Monday 27 May 2013 19:22

Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.

dancinggirl900 17

Monday 27 May 2013 19:16

Insect got your tongue?

Comments

gabbi630 16

Monday 27 May 2013 20:11

It could have been worse. You could have been the bug!

disney_blonde 16

Monday 27 May 2013 20:12

This is why you wear a full face helmet. No bugs in your face.

dead_insects 18

Monday 27 May 2013 20:15

good news: you got home safe from a party. bad news: your breakfast was a huge bug! goddamn, i coughed just reading that! i love the username! if it had been me, the username would have Been "crashed like a bitch and vomited for 10 minutes" of course, seeing what my username is now, the irony would be too delicious, unlike your winged snack ^_~

Nilorak 24

Monday 27 May 2013 20:16

Well that's a bug!

s13495 19

Monday 27 May 2013 20:17

funniest fml for a long time :D

minidrone_fml 11

Monday 27 May 2013 20:19

That's how you identify a happy biker : the gnats on the teeth !

MysticMonkey 9

Monday 27 May 2013 20:35

Was it tasty?

AzWolf 5

Monday 27 May 2013 20:40

You're lucky it wasn't a bumble bee!!

DanqGirlxoxo 13

Monday 27 May 2013 21:15

" Today, I woke up bright and early in a real good mood , going to get some breakfast. A ladybug flew by and caught my eye. Not paying attention , I ended up in some guys mouth and now my wing is stuck between his teeth. Ew is that bread? FML"