Gross, Motorbike and Animals: Protein

Protein

By Nearly Crashed - 27/05/2013 13:42 - United States - Lake Hiawatha

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 466

You deserved it 9 106

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 926

You deserved it 3 962

By Knaxer - 12/12/2015 17:22 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 6 583

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 250

By Brandon Butler - 04/03/2011 09:22

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 644

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 3 139

By Anonymous - 27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 713

You deserved it 5 390

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 963

You deserved it 8 694

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 19:02 - United States

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 8 260

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 315

By jreed509 - 03/07/2011 05:25 - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 4 116

Mr_Satan 11

Monday 27 May 2013 19:22

Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.

dancinggirl900 17

Monday 27 May 2013 19:16

Insect got your tongue?

Comments

miiajayne 6

Monday 27 May 2013 21:29

Sorry, can't help but YDI this. 1) that's why helmets have visors on them and 2) if you're that tired you probably shouldn't be riding a motorbike anyway.

horneyhic 15

Tuesday 28 May 2013 2:27

You no some ppl like the feeling of wind in the face I only wear a 3/4 Helmit and if you've ever yawned while driving you can't judge this guy for yawning whole riding

miiajayne 6

Tuesday 28 May 2013 9:18

I'm a motorbike rider myself, and frankly put my own safety above the feeling of wind in my face. 3/4 helmets aren't as safe as full, but even with a full face helmet you can lift the visor and open the vents and get the wind feeling with the bug eating.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 27 May 2013 21:33

Deep throat, bug style

Enslaved 36

Monday 27 May 2013 21:41

Maybe it was a "Spanish Fly"!(:

buckdharma 36

Monday 27 May 2013 21:35

A vegan on his Vespa? That's what you get for ruining your nephew's cook-out. I bet it tasted like chicken.

TogeBara 12

Monday 27 May 2013 22:21

YDI. If you ride a motorcycle you should know better than to ride without a full face helm. If you used a full face helm with a visor and you had the visor up, your mouth would still be covered. No excuse or reason. YDI

horneyhic 15

Tuesday 28 May 2013 2:30

The law doesn't require a full faced Helmit hell in some parts o the states it doesn't require one at all

TogeBara 12

Wednesday 29 May 2013 3:01

doesn't mean that you should be driving without one. enjoy your one eye after you crash and a rock gets kicked up into it. just sayin my point still stands though either way

horneyhic 15

Thursday 30 May 2013 6:46

I wear glasses and have a sunshield my eyes are just as well protected but the rest of my face gets a nice breeze

worldclassrager 39

Monday 27 May 2013 22:36

I can't believe you don't wear a helmet...the upside the name is nearly crashed...an investment of a helmet might be a good idea for future reference...

horneyhic 15

Tuesday 28 May 2013 2:34

There are helmets that don't cover your face

summerS2 3

Monday 27 May 2013 22:43

#yolo, just kidding. that poor bug...

Wolfy9 4

Monday 27 May 2013 22:51

Wear a helmet

aliciavanham 13

Monday 27 May 2013 22:58

Happens to everyone!

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 23:03

I'd like to see a giant ultimate fighting cage match to the death featuring people who are "feeling pretty good about myself" vs. those who are "trying to look cool." I'm not sure who would win, but if almost all of them died, the world would be a better place.