Fight, Public freakouts and Health: Public freakout time

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 47 792

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 918

You deserved it 15 162

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 843

By goddamitme - 21/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 12 932

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 370

You deserved it 6 204

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 819

You deserved it 12 940

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 7 503

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 25 654

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 009

RileyL29 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:27

You confused your girlfriend who a male capable of knocking you unconscious?

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:24

He liked it ;D

Comments

memphius 4

Monday 4 July 2011 16:28

I'm glad that thought occurred to someone else too!

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 4 July 2011 16:59

you called yourself a pig, haha maybe this wasn't an accident? (;

GodofRandom 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 2:29

Protip: Make sure it's your girlfriend's ass before squeezing. Dumbass.

Kenneth14 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:16

127 who the hell says hindquarters

moxie0dae 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:12

At least you admit that you're a pig.

SamGoesBlah 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:59

dude look like a lady xD

Clarice1 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 2:46

Why does OP deserve it? It's not weird to goof around with your girlfriend, and most people have mistaken a stranger for someone they know, especially in a crowd where it seems like you can disappear in a split second. Shit happens. And about the 'girlfriend's butt looking like a guy's butt' thing: Really? I was under the impression that people came with infinite but often subtle variations of the same basic structures. I also thought that clothing can obscure some of the details of a person's form. And that often when you're in a group you act based on where you think your companions are before realizing that's changed (haven't you ever been walking along talking to a friend, only to turn your head slightly and discover they stopped a few steps back)? Oh, and I was under the impression that it's not very common to ask for three forms of photo ID from your girlfriend's ass before touching it. Silly me.