Sex, Virginity and Intimacy: Quickshot - FML

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 031

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Same thing different taste

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 4 729

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 717

You deserved it 6 020

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 023

You deserved it 4 100

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Spicy

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 146

You deserved it 7 411

Frustrated at work

By stillhorny - 11/08/2021 10:01

Spicy

Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 195

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 830

You deserved it 13 049

By helpfulmom - 26/07/2009 18:39 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 132

You deserved it 6 778

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 457

You deserved it 6 328

Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Spicy

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 142

You deserved it 28 446

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 00:11 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 269

Next

Top comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 31 August 2014 19:54

baby steps are crucial when it's the 1st time

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 31 August 2014 21:02

The condom is an anti-baby step.

Comments

Draikon 6

Tuesday 2 September 2014 9:06

Haha, how is that even possible xD

azyjazy713 11

Tuesday 2 September 2014 17:17

*facepalm* that's gonna take some time...

Leeroy2259 4

Tuesday 2 September 2014 18:24

just tell him to go down on you until he gets it up again

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 2 September 2014 18:47

People get better. My 1st time was not great at all. I lasted like 20secs. But I can last much longer now. Just because 1 time was bad doesn't mean they all will be.

FMLGUY254 1

Tuesday 2 September 2014 22:17

Don't blame him for that. Every guy gets excited when it's their first time.

2008OscarWinner 7

Wednesday 3 September 2014 6:14

two pump chump

Janae1 5

Wednesday 3 September 2014 7:31

Time for a new boyfriend

Realhomesley 5

Wednesday 3 September 2014 8:17

That first one has a mind of its own. Now the real fun can begin!

areeeely 6

Wednesday 3 September 2014 19:09

Well ok

kaiuskc 3

Thursday 4 September 2014 2:29

It's a good thing he wore a condom

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 130

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 2 411

The Top

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 999

You deserved it 8 983

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 4 059

Today, I was sitting in my last class of the day, after being on campus for 8 hours, when I glanced down and noticed I was wearing two different colored flip flops. I'd given two class presentations and had a meeting with my conducting professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 340

You deserved it 1 772

Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 56

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 798

Today, I was super bored in health class so I decided to watch Invader Zim on my computer. I never made sure my headphones were connected. so the whole class turned and stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 641