Intimacy and Health: *recoils in horror*

recoils in horror

By Anonymous - 07/11/2017 06:00

Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 728

You deserved it 878

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Same thing different taste

By Enanimus - 25/09/2015 18:45 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 715

You deserved it 2 999

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 8 073

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 18:01

Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 201

No more bukkake for you

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 23:02

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 08/03/2010 14:35 - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 660

You deserved it 3 007

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 28/08/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 352

By poisonivyandbigfoot - 10/09/2017 20:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 434

You deserved it 4 361

Nice spread

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 20:36 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 046

You deserved it 1 625

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 215

leaannec30 18

Tuesday 7 November 2017 7:08

This reminds me of the time my ex was pealing hot ghost peppers and we got frisky in the kitchen and he fingered me without washing his hands. Talk about flaming pussy. And blisters I feel your pain

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 7 November 2017 6:23

If you can find it, I recommend Penaten for the rash. It helped when I had a bad one on both pits, just use a good amount at a time. I'd see a doctor for the sores, though.

Comments

Etweens96 25

Tuesday 7 November 2017 19:51

I would speak with your boyfriend about changing hand creams, I’m sure he’s willing to comply.

Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16

Tuesday 7 November 2017 20:06

Ok I’m gonna state the obvious question here: are you saying your boyfriend’s hands were around your butthole but didn’t go inside? I call shenanigans. Go ahead tell us the truth! Taco Bell doesn’t feel as bad as what you’re feeling right now am I right?

DampestAcorn7 6

Wednesday 8 November 2017 16:12

maybe they used the hand cream as lube,

Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16

Wednesday 8 November 2017 17:04

That’s my suspicion! But no one likes to admit to being a back Dorothy

saberjpg 6

Tuesday 7 November 2017 20:38

Your boyfriend is a genius. "No no no, sweetie, those sores are from an allergic reaction from my hand cream. I've been completely faithful, and I've not been having sex with anybody on Tinder. The doctor must be a pathological liar. We good?"