Clothes, Cute and Kids: Record breakers

Record breakers

By fatmom - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Royal Tunbridge Wells

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 594

You deserved it 21 574

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What's your resolutions?

By why? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hackensack

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 2 493

Inappropriate but funny

By naughtyshirt - 22/08/2009 09:29 - Australia

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 4 504

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 710

You deserved it 8 763

Creepy

By Justinthebox - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 565

You deserved it 423

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 520

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 197

Taking the piss

By Mug - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 2 233

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 12 947

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 802

You deserved it 2 580

buddy51 23

Wednesday 10 April 2013 19:03

Take this as a suggestion from your son and his friends that you might need to lose a little weight.....

Hurbel684 10

Wednesday 10 April 2013 19:04

I hate it when people try to get into my pants...

Comments

kawaiisakura 12

Thursday 11 April 2013 4:19

If there's still room after 5 kids...big hint that weight needs to be lost

caysters 12

Thursday 11 April 2013 4:54

Definitely time to diet and exercise. If 5+ kids can fit in your pants, maybe you should just look at gastric bypass...

mmyers 5

Thursday 11 April 2013 5:06

Sounds like my life

dnvrdty 6

Thursday 11 April 2013 6:29

Kids can be so cruel. Sorry OP. :(

Adolfospxc 3

Thursday 11 April 2013 7:16

My turn!

memebep 6

Thursday 11 April 2013 14:35

you guys are rude. so what if she's big. just because she's overweight doesn't make her a bad or ugly person. even people who are overweight and do excersise doesn't necessarily mean they're going to lose weight. she might just have a low metabolism.

juliapow22 5

Thursday 11 April 2013 17:38

pokerface91 5

Sunday 14 April 2013 10:37

Nobody said she was ugly. This is a, "**** your life" AND "you did it to yourself" post. Your metabolism slows when you don't use the calories you eat on a regular basis. My husband broke his leg at the farm he works on, and now he won't eat any sweets because he knows he can't get up and burn off all the calories. And he cares about the way he looks (to an extent).

Shade1982 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 15:47

That's still no excuse though. Both my gf and me lost close to 25kg each over the last few months because we were seriously overweight. Unless you have a good reason to be overweight, for example there are several medications which can cause sudden weightgain, there is no reason someone can't lose weight. It all comes down to personal motivation.

juliapow22 5

Thursday 11 April 2013 17:36

Maybe your ass is just fat..?

memebep 6

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:41

Says the person with a picture of a guinea pig.

aznpink7 9

Thursday 11 April 2013 22:23

I'm guessing they're really small, young kids if 5 of them can fit into one pair of pants. Either way, OP should probably take this as a sign to change his/her lifestyle to something more active and healthy.