Love: Right, Imma head out - FML

Right, Imma head out

By Angie - 09/09/2011 23:18 - France

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 413

You deserved it 6 892

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Same thing different taste

By shawty_x - 26/04/2009 12:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 217

You deserved it 4 908

By dejected - 28/02/2010 01:32 - United States

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 272

You deserved it 6 741

By Riskreh - 23/09/2009 11:10 - United States

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 264

You deserved it 8 835

By samgonzalessb - 14/12/2009 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 347

You deserved it 3 834

By Vero - 17/05/2012 15:02 - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 3 529

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 19:36 - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 245

You deserved it 10 558

Supportive

By Schmolly - 13/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 5 516

By ScaryBears - 09/10/2012 01:51 - United States - Trumbull

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 165

You deserved it 32 740

A friend in need…

By anonymous - 30/06/2012 06:26 - United States - Denver

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 199

You deserved it 2 535

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 18:54 - United States - Goldendale

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 1 948

Next

Top comments

plopyer10 8

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:39

You shoulve ****** the wind up

tigerbabe15 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:39

Aww poor teddy bear did he get hurt?

Comments

UlybkaVoron 6

Saturday 10 December 2011 22:57

Well... Did you follow his advice?

nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:14

Your poor Teddy bear couldn't take all of your whining so he was forced to jump.

poleybear 3

Tuesday 7 February 2012 19:46

Stop it Meg!!!!

moseph0240 5

Friday 30 March 2012 23:07

I would suggest parachuting rather than free falling. Teddys can become overwhelmed with emotion and tend to make irrational decisions

carbonbasedcynic 17

Monday 12 May 2014 0:54

how does a teddy bear crash into a floor?

xopher425 19

Thursday 11 December 2014 18:42

He probably would not spend his talking to inanimate objects.

JupiterPainon 17

Tuesday 28 April 2015 3:25

Is teddy bear or a euphemism?

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Intimacy Sex Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I have COVID. My almost ex-wife is taking our kid to Thanksgiving with her family, but asked if he could stay longer with me (while I'm in quarantine), I said OK, no energy to argue, but she pushed and when I said, "If he's negative and has no symptoms it seems unnecessary" she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO KILL MY PARENTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 375

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 518

The Top

Today, we were notified that our office will be relocated. Employees can tag along but their wages will not be adjusted accordingly. The cost of living at the new place is way higher. I have to finish my contract and really can't afford to not have a job right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 675

You deserved it 1 243

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 496

You deserved it 3 940

Today, my significant other cares more about her drink and the TV than her kids and pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 103

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 354

You deserved it 47 119

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 128

You deserved it 97 144

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 166