Health and Painful: Rip Torn - FML

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 124

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Same thing different taste

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 58 280

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 471

You deserved it 1 284

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 163

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 003

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

By thefoolwhorippedhispants - 20/04/2018 01:30

Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 333

You deserved it 430

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 12 033

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 2 013

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924

You deserved it 7 349

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 May 2022 5:08

Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:49

Lotion is your friend.

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Tuesday 10 May 2022 2:55

I just learned something new thank you and WTF were you doing that resulted in you tearing your cleftal horizon

mccuish 25

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:29

I have so many questions right now

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:49

Lotion is your friend.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 May 2022 5:08

Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.

Beackers675 13

Wednesday 11 May 2022 19:25

Hey guys, OP here. Just wanted to follow-up, turns out, if you sit down just right, the tag in your underwear can cut your ass-crack like a paper cut. 10/10 don't recommend.

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You deserved it 56

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I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 238