Work, Drunk and Love: Rowdy

Rowdy

By FMyEx - 06/12/2012 11:50 - United States - Southington

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 599

You deserved it 4 887

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Same thing different taste

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 14 910

I'm not paid enough for this shit

By Bartender - 20/10/2014 21:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 526

You deserved it 2 642

Difficult

By stressed - 12/10/2014 06:40 - United States - Statham

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 2 681

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 122

You deserved it 4 709

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 617

You deserved it 56 931

By why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" - 17/08/2013 22:40 - Netherlands - Oosterwolde

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 713

You deserved it 4 275

Manly men fighting

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 267

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 305

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

Supahnova 14

Thursday 6 December 2012 18:52

Asscandle? I must brush up on my insults.

newbiehere99 6

Thursday 6 December 2012 19:17

asscandle Ignition of the inner anus caused by methane gas, and a struck match. Urbandictionary.com

Comments

pradip 26

Thursday 6 December 2012 20:56

Sure 58, no one would've recognized the mistake other than moksha himself. I took it as a girl since it's a common female name in my country.

Shrike 23

Thursday 6 December 2012 20:57

54, 55- I don't get it. I've seen "asscandle" used in various places, and fairly commonly on FML. It's like the people who see the word "asshat", which is a pretty common insult in modern life, and act like they've never seen it before in their lives.

gracehi 31

Thursday 6 December 2012 21:09

It's new to me, and apparently the same goes for many others commenting on this FML. We don't all immerse ourselves in the most current vulgarities.

zenrael 21

Thursday 6 December 2012 21:56

Glad to hear you're single (;

Enslaved 36

Thursday 6 December 2012 21:58

"But, you didn't have to cut me off" Ugh! I'm a bartender too and after dealing with drunks ALL day, the last thing I want to do is come home to one I'm dating. I rarely drink myself because of that same reason. :P