Health and Painful: Scorpio rising

Scorpio rising

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 565

You deserved it 107 561

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It's real, I'm telling you!

By Tenniemo - 20/06/2018 15:00 - United States

Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 820

You deserved it 225

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 782

You deserved it 1 411

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 168

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 882

By rinakitty94 - 29/06/2015 17:30 - United States - Sunset

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 2 247

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 449

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By StungAlot - 19/06/2012 10:32 - United States

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 383

You deserved it 2 749

By fack - 29/07/2015 14:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 10 792

taoxyeuxmay 4

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:06

Karma is sweet!

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:08

Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.

Comments

nomnomsean 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 10:23

LAWL arizona's an FML as it is. but this is just rich.

Chocoholic17 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 17:56

Check your bf's receipts to see if he's recently bought a scorpion to put on your arm. YDI.

ashylarry 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 20:51

women are stupid

VectorRaptor 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 22:56

Note to self: Never live in Arizona.

bookworm124 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 3:18

How does getting stung by a scorpion translate to "women are stupid?" Sexist asshole. Anyway, OP: Karma's a bitch. Don't be one.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 19 October 2013 6:34

Irony is key

martymcfly12 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 23:26

karma ftw

RuralNinja 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 1:08

Bitch, stop whining and get over it.

Randomguy16 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:17

What a bitch

Nacirema20 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 10:13

where the **** do u live that scorpions r crawling out and about???

Elizabobble 0

Friday 14 August 2009 5:02

You told your boyfriend to get over it? Scorpion stings are PAINFUL. Like everyone's saying, karma's a bitch. Haaa. YDI.

Leah_witty 0

Friday 14 August 2009 6:48

You sound like a very caring girlfriend.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 715

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 781

You deserved it 4 168

The Top

Today, my girlfriend gave me a wedgie and got her sister to take a pic. My boxers broke. I had that pair since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 1 145

Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 919

You deserved it 4 741

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 504

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 234

Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 100

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 315

You deserved it 8 296