Love, Sex and Painful: Sick burn

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 114

You deserved it 64 141

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 742

You deserved it 6 424

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 420

You deserved it 4 472

Cooked

By Un1ucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 292

You deserved it 7 527

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 247

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 558

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 416

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 910

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 413

You deserved it 1 033

elhefeweizen 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:05

Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo

Zonadow 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:09

Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH

Comments

wilson_n_trainin 0

Monday 31 May 2010 21:07

That's super funny. Well not for you but for us reading it.lol

jake316 0

Monday 31 May 2010 21:59

well at least now you have a hot ass no offense

shaude91 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 0:00

dudee! I woulda dumped his ass!

AsukaSaruwatari 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 0:11

I'm sorry if this is true. I just saw the video on youtube that is exactly like this. :/ Homemade **** gone wrong.

510lobita510 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 2:31

was that you on YouTube? XD

fortunefades 3

Tuesday 1 June 2010 3:26

should've made a sandwich...

beyonce25 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 4:20

that should teach you about being hot between the legs

blushingred 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 7:19

hehe I saw that on YouTube xD LOL owie.

IMaHATER 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 12:11

LOL all i can imagine are you buns having the same spiral shape as cinnabons.

1goodthing 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 15:32

seen that video.. i call fake

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally called her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister, and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 3 687

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 4 465

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to bust out some dance moves in the middle of the supermarket to embarrass my teenage daughter. As I was trying to the moonwalk, I slipped on a wet spot and crashed into a stack of cereal boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 711

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 87

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 765

You deserved it 3 771

Today, my boss offered me a 3% "raise" with new commission targets. Consequently this "raise" would result in my income being reduced by a third. Apparently, if I can reach my current targets, they're too easy. So, as a reward for being great at my job, I get a reduced salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 917

You deserved it 369

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 917

You deserved it 31 008

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to break up with my boyfriend and kick him out after his second relapse. A few hours later, I had police banging down my door. To get back at me, my now ex had called the cops and anonymously reported all the drugs he’d hidden around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 245