Health and Work: Sick day

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 1 970

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 1 383

Seize the day

By Nick - 06/08/2013 14:44 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 199

You deserved it 3 589

By fuckmyassimcold - 14/12/2012 19:19 - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 975

You deserved it 79 364

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 723

You deserved it 2 652

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 381

The Curse

By nancypants1124 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 980

You deserved it 12 713

By Mark - 27/02/2015 18:24 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 2 720

Symptomatic

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 13:59 - Germany

Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 93

By gothicvamp93 - 04/01/2015 06:46 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 2 376

lovelockdown23 23

Sunday 28 June 2015 8:54

although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.

BadDay98 18

Sunday 28 June 2015 8:48

Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him

Comments

jazzy_123 20

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:01

your boss is an idiot. I'm not sure how it is in Pennsylvania but I know in California they can't question you if you call out sick. Hopefully it's the same there so your boss won't give you a hard time.

Brandi_Faith 33

Sunday 28 June 2015 19:50

I don't see why op has to say what the problem is in the first place. He should've just said "I'm sick and can't come in today," and leave it at that. They shouldn't be able to question you on how sick you are.

imkool136 22

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:01

Honestly, **** him. He's too stupid to be your boss. That's just me though.... Hope you feel better:)

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:02

I'll bet the idiot probably thinks wearing a jacket makes you immune to it as well. Honestly, what is it about colds/flu specifically that has people believing such medieval bullshit about a viral infection?

lovelockdown23 23

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:35

well the name of the illness is cold so I can see where the ignorance came from. also the timing of flu shots.

1DisGR8 32

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:07

Go and throw up on him. Simple.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:44

Follow it up with some explosive diarrhoea all over his desk. I can see nothing whatsoever wrong with that course of action.

lilchica22001 22

Sunday 28 June 2015 9:22

Go into work and sneeze on your boss's computer keyboard/mouse. He'll be sick in no time and you can tell him that you were right and should have stayed home :)