Dogs, Parents and Animals: Sigma - FML

Sigma

By DumbassRoaster - 10/07/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 591

You deserved it 1 729

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Same thing different taste

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 614

You deserved it 5 242

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 585

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 250

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 1 125

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 55 062

By kacysospacyy - 15/07/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 066

You deserved it 4 848

Helicopter parents

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 20:00

Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 137

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

Next

Top comments

MDoremis 38

Monday 11 July 2016 9:53

He's trying to move up from Beta, obviously.

Crazyjohnb 23

Monday 11 July 2016 9:57

Well, that's a new way to train a dog.

Comments

kikzermeizer 7

Tuesday 12 July 2016 2:30

Lol

datwall 16

Tuesday 12 July 2016 4:59

I think I love your dad already...

rockersxx 6

Tuesday 12 July 2016 5:39

My dad has done the exact same thing. Well almost. I was already awake. Fyl for being woken up by it

roryabester 8

Tuesday 12 July 2016 13:08

i didnt think my four year old son was posting on fml but who else could this be xD

freddygasman 18

Wednesday 13 July 2016 4:34

Could be worse, I know someone that bit his dog because she bit him. On the up though, she never did it again and she was the best dog anyone could ask for around kids.

tbrill 15

Wednesday 13 July 2016 7:02

Honestly OP I can relate to this one, oddly enough. My dad used to have a really weird power complex that would somehow also spindle all the way down to our dogs. . He always had to point out how our dogs "obeyed" him so well because he was the "alpha male " of the house - which often led to strange stuff similar to this. Unfortunately he still does it / stuff like that. Maybe your dad will get over it though. Wishing you the best on your sleep!

searkt 4

Thursday 14 July 2016 7:56

Me and my mom yell this at our dogs all the time when they're being bad.

Delial 14

Thursday 14 July 2016 18:28

Your dad sounds amazing.

dcea 17

Monday 14 November 2016 5:46

how is this bad?

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 484

You deserved it 11 507

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 8 783

The Top

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 3 628

Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch like a dog. She has yet to cease doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 323

You deserved it 801

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 3 827

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 198

You deserved it 4 176

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 3 022

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 774

You deserved it 16 006