Miscellaneous: Size matters

Size matters

By MobPerfect - 11/05/2012 13:24 - United States - Providence

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 517

You deserved it 3 556

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Same thing different taste

By farmakakis - 21/12/2009 06:25 - Australia

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 648

You deserved it 56 650

Masterclass

By annoym - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 351

You deserved it 14 252

By MJjunior - 31/08/2011 16:04 - Australia

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 526

You deserved it 13 280

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 204

You deserved it 6 569

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 040

You deserved it 2 634

By Smile No More - 13/05/2011 12:27

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 5 975

Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 235

By Bozo - 31/08/2012 07:57 - United States - Saukville

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 23 899

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 477

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 779

You deserved it 7 055

perdix 29

Friday 11 May 2012 18:58

I know how you feel! It's the same thing that happens to me when I try to use a garbage bag as a condom;)

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 11 May 2012 18:46

I can just tell you're a nosey person! :D Shoot me now, it's for the best.

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 11 May 2012 18:58

I know how you feel! It's the same thing that happens to me when I try to use a garbage bag as a condom;)

PrincessPesa 20

Friday 11 May 2012 19:09

Perdix, when you're good... you're really good. And ouch, apparently painful! Try not to kill anyone with that thing and I'll stop trying to knock over pedestrians with my **** whenever I turn.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 11 May 2012 19:14

oh snap!

skyeyez9 24

Friday 11 May 2012 19:46

Looks like a cheese wheel

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 11 May 2012 20:17

I knock over cars with my **** :D Needless to say, I have a lot of lawsuits on my hands/****.

perdix 29

Friday 11 May 2012 20:38

#32. I'm careful. An ah-oo-gah horn goes off every time a pretty girl comes into view and the launch sequence begins;) Btw, 69th!!!

klikin 2

Friday 11 May 2012 23:22

Please don't stop doing whatever you just said cause boobs

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 11 May 2012 23:36

God, I'm hard.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 11 May 2012 23:48

89- what? 92- Really? I'm easy! Wait. That didn't come out right. .. Damn it, neither did that! DAMN YOU, DIRTY MIND.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 11 May 2012 23:58

93- Giggity.

ScaryCookie 0

Sunday 13 May 2012 13:17

You put on condoms in front of friends and family..?

PrincessPesa 20

Friday 11 May 2012 18:59

Be proud of your prominent shnozz. Maybe someone somewhere will be in dire need of a Barbra Streisand impersonator. Or the K-9 unit at the local police station might call on you for extra help sniffing out a suspect! You never know. Honk Honk!