Miscellaneous: Size matters

Size matters

By MobPerfect - 11/05/2012 13:24 - United States - Providence

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 512

You deserved it 3 556

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Same thing different taste

By farmakakis - 21/12/2009 06:25 - Australia

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 647

You deserved it 56 641

Masterclass

By annoym - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 348

You deserved it 14 249

By MJjunior - 31/08/2011 16:04 - Australia

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 521

You deserved it 13 278

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

By Smile No More - 13/05/2011 12:27

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 5 972

Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 232

By Bozo - 31/08/2012 07:57 - United States - Saukville

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 23 896

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 779

You deserved it 7 055

Sensory deprivation

By Trisha - 07/10/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 684

perdix 29

Friday 11 May 2012 18:58

I know how you feel! It's the same thing that happens to me when I try to use a garbage bag as a condom;)

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 11 May 2012 18:46

I can just tell you're a nosey person! :D Shoot me now, it's for the best.

Comments

tony1891 22

Friday 11 May 2012 19:27

are you related to Uma Thurman?

lotrgeek 10

Friday 11 May 2012 19:39

My boyfriend has a huge nose and I think it suits him perfectly! He looks gorgeous!

DocBastard 38

Friday 11 May 2012 19:42

The better to smell you with, my dear...

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 11 May 2012 20:13

"Golly, Grandma! What big ey--" "Bitch, shut up and get in mah belleh!" And then the wolf ate Little Riding Hood, and waltzed away. Until he was ran over by A fat woman on a rascal. THE END.

skyeyez9 24

Friday 11 May 2012 19:47

If it bothers you and makes you feel self conscious about it, there is always cosmetic surgery. Lots of people get nose jobs. Mine was broken and healed crooked, I had rhinoplasty surgery to Straighten it back to normal.

Eiregal2 10

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:13

I smashed my nose against concrete once and had to get an op to fix it back up too.best thing I ever did,my nose is better then it used to look and I can breath easier at night. Without really knowing it I had a bit of a blockage,they took care of it for me. My nose is cute now

esines 9

Saturday 12 May 2012 16:41

Not everyone has the money..

cornielious 1

Friday 11 May 2012 19:51

Well why dont you just quit having such a big nose?

nofearjenshere 12

Friday 11 May 2012 20:07

Not something you can just quit. (unless you decide to pay big bucks for plastic surgery). I feel for OP, a big nose is something I'm going I have to live with for the rest of my life.