Slimed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 132
You deserved it 2 841
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Top comments

MrBoredGuy 1

I would of left it there so later I could be all "what the ****'s in your hair?" but I'm just a nice person

37 3

Comments

wheel4deal 5

I thought this story was going a completely different way when you said napkin.

7 0
wrwrestler8 4

This is why nice guys finish last. Because girls always look at the glass half empty instead of half full in terms of their man (meaning, when they feel "better than him" they tend to look at his flaws instead of his strengths, and when they feel "self conscious or less than him" they tend to idolize him, cling to him, give him super chron ********, etc. Let's go over 2 scenarios here: 1- FIRST SCENARIO: The guy is a nice guy... like this guy was. He tells her about the booger in her hair. Does she think A- hes honest, which is good, and B- every guy has boogers at some point its a body function for gods sake, and C- im glad he told me otherwise i wouldnt have gotten it out, and D- he could have easily lied to me and id never have known? NO!!! Instead, she thinks "ew hes such a weird loser for putting a booger in my hair. Not only does she think its weird, creepy, etc, but she also BLAMES HIM FOR IT- as if he did it ON PURPOSE or something. Yeah right, dont flatter yourself lady, if the guy did that on purpose he WOULDNT ******* TELL YOU. But anyways, womens logic is retarded to say the least. 2- SECOND SCENARIO: The guy is a dick (which I proudly am, cuz it gets me laid) and he DOESN'T TELL HER ABOUT THE BOOGER. He instead chooses to fry her on it later. The girl does NOT think any of the following: A- it could be his booger in my hair, B- hes so rude to me for making fun of me for the thing in my hair, therefore i should find somebody else to date. Instead, she thinks A- im such a loser, B- the guy is better than me cuz C- im such a weird klutz who gets icky things in my hair, D- i better give him crucial sex right now so he'll even put up with me, and E- he is BETTER THAN ME since im socially awkward and hes not. ====================================== Do you girls see why I- and many other guys- have stopped being honest and started being dicks- and doing whatever it takes- to get laid? At this point, with THIS crowd of women, we simply HAVE TO. The only times I am honest with women now, is after I've dated them for over a month and they are SOLIDLY PRESSED ON MY DICK BY NOW. If they aren't madly in love with me and don't genuinely believe that I can do better than them, then I will LIE ABOUT ANYTHING LIKE THIS, when it benefits me. Straight up

6 2
LaColombianita 26

I think this is the longest comment I've ever read on here.

10 0
Vball6 19

****. You wrote so long, that when I press the two little thumbs, then scroll up to thumb this down, the whole damn thing goes away.. Lol you probably don't know what I'm talking about.

11 0
Mf2307 15

i have to agree i never seen such a big comment on here

2 0
Pacifica1165 13

33, This is actually kinda a good, logical, well-written comment that I can agree with to some degree. However, I think the problem is that OP wrote the FML b/c she got a booger in her hair that was hard to get rid of rather than b/c she has a "disgusting bf." She didn't necessarily say that she blames her bf for it. She probably just wrote it up b/c it was a weird, awkward, disgusting experience not because she looked down on her bf for it.

3 1
StoryOfTheYear 14

Copyright that shit. Somebody is going to steal it and rewrite it as a book and make millions.

2 2
Snafuusmc 12

Damn man...that's hardcore well said man.

1 1
cocodecoeur 12

Am I the only one that see this huge-ass comment on a light yellow background?

1 1
murdersquirrel 15

Too long - but also started with a blanket generalization. Can't get on board with that...because this FML is not why nice guys finish last, and girls don't 'always' look at their men the same way.

3 0
Dracoboxer357 35

Impressive logic train there #33, quite a bit of thought went into that one. :) of course, this only really applies if you stick to dating insecure women, who need to feel they are with someone worthwhile to make themselves feel the same way, but that being said, I liked your argument. Well spoken! :) Thumbed you Up.

0 0
hellokatie8 5

Damn... That is one long comment .. I can agree with parts of it, and disagree totally with others. The fml was pointing out how nasty it is to get a booger in your hair . Not that the boyfriend is in any way gross . How would you feel of you got a booger, in your hair. I highly doubt you'd be cool with it and say "sure babe, go get a napkin and pick the snot rocket from my hair, no big thing" it's gross. And guys who DO rely on girls insecurities to get laid , are sad in my opinion. . You get much better ass if the girl feels empowered as much as you do.

1 0
FMLsOhilarious 6

Go take a shower and wash it out.

0 1
anna121 5

that is just gross. he probably digged in his nose to get it out.

1 4
Snafuusmc 12

Everyone picks their nose but getting it into people's hair is gross. At least he told you though.

1 0