Miscellaneous: Smooth

Smooth

By eayers2689 - 30/05/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 621

You deserved it 59 154

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Same thing different taste

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 611

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 430

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 963

You deserved it 33 463

By DopeDickDover - 26/10/2015 15:50 - United States

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 377

You deserved it 2 575

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 939

You deserved it 24 635

Tasty snack ideas

By Stellarum - 18/08/2014 15:13 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 4 228

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 7 790

By pickit - 25/02/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 20 851

Katers22 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.

jillz 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L

Comments

likeduhhx4 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:39

that's ******* sick.

Whaddabe 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:40

Well that sucks.... She didn't go for the old "licking your finger and tenderly touching her" move?

thepunisher_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:42

honest mistake ill give u that but couldnt u have gotten a napkin instead??

mishel 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:03

ew.. how could you mistake bbq sauce for a scab..

lawlkat 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:07

What? A Pimple for BBQ? Sir, GTFO out of my board.

DarkMirror 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:33

Well...ew...I mean it was just a mistake, but still...ew...

xabuko 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:49

Damn mate...touch luck!!!

ttech10 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 9:14

Hey you got some BBQ sauce on your cheek. You know what would be better? SALIVA!

erroneousx2 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 9:17

I LOL'ed at number one. Made my day aha. But, that's pretty nasty. :P

Jareth_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 9:57

Why would you think your spit would make a good cleaning agent?

holagranola 15

Saturday 5 January 2013 22:51

It would make more sense to just tell her there was something on her face.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 644

You deserved it 52 013

The Top

Today, I find it to be absolute horseshit that I’ve been denied disability benefits even though I’ve been in and out (mostly in) treatment for cancer over the past four years. Meanwhile my 600 lbs+ neighbor has been draining the system for decades. I can’t even find a pro bono attorney to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 127

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out during a family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 782

You deserved it 3 485

Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes, and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way is better than yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 992

You deserved it 894

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 3 022

Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there!

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 194

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 567

You deserved it 15 610

Smooth

Same thing different taste

Big tasty

Tasty snack ideas

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