Miscellaneous: Smooth

Smooth

By eayers2689 - 30/05/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 621

You deserved it 59 154

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 611

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 430

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 963

You deserved it 33 463

By DopeDickDover - 26/10/2015 15:50 - United States

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 377

You deserved it 2 575

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 939

You deserved it 24 635

Tasty snack ideas

By Stellarum - 18/08/2014 15:13 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 4 228

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 7 790

By pickit - 25/02/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 20 851

Katers22 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.

jillz 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L

Comments

xerao 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:49

Why would you ever smear your saliva on someone's face if that someone is anyone other than your child? YDI.

Glam_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:02

Ick. Why would you do that? It's disgusting. It's more like **** her life - some creepy dude licked his finger and touched her face with it. I know I wouldn't want ANYONE to do that to me, not even my closest friends, boyfriend, or family. It wouldn't have been so bad if you wouldn't have licked your finger. Like numerous other people said, you are lucky you didn't lose your finger or get kicked in the balls. You definately need to brush up on your flirting skills.

Billxd 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:04

ewwwwwwwwwwww

Illustrator 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:20

It's not like he was slobbering on her, you douches. (Hopefully.) Wet the tip of your finger like you're going to turn a page in a book, then touch your face with it. Big ******* deal, eh? Now if he walked up to a total stranger and did it, that's a different story entirely. But eww. I haven't had any pimples worth popping in years, but I don't remember EVER having any that scabbed over afterwards. They're not supposed to bleed; that's disgusting.

NoMercy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:23

Here just let me smear my spit on your face without asking. YDI and F Her Life.

jewelzgalore 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:40

Wtf, creeper!

alex_vik 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:50

#13 - You're a stuck up bitch.

stiles_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:57

GOD PEOPLE he said "JOCKINGLY i licked my thumb to remove it." cant anyone see the funny side of this

Somebody52 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:08

LOL!!!

sfsdfsf 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:22

The people who basically said, "i would kick your ass if you touched me" you are all really annoying. sure it's not right for him to do that. but don't say you would "kick his ass" you just sounds obnoxious and you're trying waaaaaaaay too hard to be cool and tough. and your not.