Miscellaneous: Smooth

Smooth

By eayers2689 - 30/05/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 621

You deserved it 59 154

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 611

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 430

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 963

You deserved it 33 463

By DopeDickDover - 26/10/2015 15:50 - United States

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 377

You deserved it 2 575

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 939

You deserved it 24 635

Tasty snack ideas

By Stellarum - 18/08/2014 15:13 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 4 228

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 7 790

By pickit - 25/02/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 20 851

Katers22 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.

jillz 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L

Comments

scottyz1 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:29

You need a bit more than something like Ajax to get that off dude.

Glam_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:38

92, I would do something physical in retaliation if someone licked their finger and tried to touch me with it. I wouldn't mind it so much if it was a dry finger, but who knows where that mouth has been??

jaybyrd 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 13:04

DUDE! that's DISGUSTING. but id be more embarassed being her

Muggaar 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 13:08

Why the heck would you lick your finger? thats just disgusting

irawk 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 17:18

hahahhaha.. thats awesomee

kimisaparasite 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 17:23

you shouldve just played it off like "oh, yeah, i got it off."

hahayou12345 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 17:39

Aw you sick ****.

didi666_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 17:41

spit on some stangers face!!!!!! I hated when my mom did that to me so I cant imagine some random person!!! right next to her mouth!!! you are an idiot and Y totally DI!