Health and Accident: Snap!

Snap!

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 17:30 - Australia

Today, I took a nap in my hammock in the backyard. Just as I was dozing off, I heard a loud snap, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground surrounded by broken ropes and a hammock that'd turned into a cocoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 105

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Hammocking yourself

By phlox_fml - 30/05/2020 08:00

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 285

By B-Man - 11/12/2009 21:55 - Canada

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 685

You deserved it 10 038

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 136

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 457

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 105

You deserved it 55 187

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:58 - United States - Durham

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 930

You deserved it 1 803

By 1ndustrytx - 04/09/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 280

You deserved it 2 223

Knackered

By Anonymous - 27/02/2012 12:36 - Australia

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 3 279

Help!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2012 05:25 - United States - North Bergen

Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 644

You deserved it 3 058

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 September 2023 17:50

Did you emerge as a fat butterfly?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 September 2023 17:50

Did you emerge as a fat butterfly?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 693

You deserved it 1 361

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 3 201

The Top

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 372

You deserved it 3 871

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. because my throat was swelling up. I called 911 and they determined that I would live, so I took two Benadryl and slept all day. Then I went to urgent care for my scheduled appointment time and tested positive for Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 215

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 893

You deserved it 5 926

Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 155

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a poly relationship. He said he wants to sleep with other people, but I can't in case I get feelings for them. Thats not what poly means, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 162

Today, my male coworker, who is 15 years my senior, booped me on the nose. I'm 46 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 149