Love, Pregnancy and Surprise: So… good news, or…? - FML

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 21 179

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 15 771

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 523

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 8 515

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 379

You deserved it 1 107

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 10 024

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 797

You deserved it 2 193

Next

Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

funkyprincess301 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 23:32

haha that sucks, did she phrase it in those exact words ??

lea3829 7

Saturday 28 April 2012 15:40

Damn fyl

jm42345 5

Wednesday 6 June 2012 2:17

damn dude have u not heard of pulling out.

Attica 20

Tuesday 16 October 2012 10:34

Yes, because THAT'S the best method of birth control... -shakes head- Condoms = fewer unplanned pregnancies, less gonorrhea.

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 28 August 2012 23:47

A baby isnt gonna ruin your life if you're over the age of 18. Sure, it'll put a damper on a lot of shit. But you know what? Shouldn't have had sex dumbass. Or at least protection.

shammer69 0

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:13

That's great! Congratulations!

insomniac8400 13

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:14

It's just a temporary fix. In less than a year that things gonna be back worse than ever

appforthat 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:35

HOW OLD IS SHE?

royalninjas 3

Sunday 13 October 2013 6:36

thats a new way of putting it xD

Ashsmileey 4

Tuesday 31 December 2013 19:36

Is it sad that this took me 6 minutes to understand

thiswhitey 13

Monday 6 January 2014 9:38

lol she didnt know a period was s regular thing? she just have been happy. but you still deserve it for getting her pregnant in the first place

peanut52 8

Sunday 26 January 2014 5:13

Your an idiot, it was just a way of phrasing it.

11
12
13
14
15

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Grieving Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Drunk AITA Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 618

You deserved it 3 896

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 227

The Top

Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 1 957

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 362

You deserved it 2 527

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 646

You deserved it 6 237

Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 546

Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 9 443

Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 153

You deserved it 1 099