Love, Pregnancy and Surprise: So… good news, or…?

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 21 179

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 15 771

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 523

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 8 515

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 379

You deserved it 1 107

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 10 024

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 797

You deserved it 2 193

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

Banjo1234 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:32

wow congrats! way to put it!

midgles 6

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:48

Oh, just got that. Hahaha :)

cp1338 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:55

Took me a good five minutes before I got that lol(:

MeleMallory 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:57

A period is not an illness. And if you don't want kids, USE A CONDOM.

nibiru8722 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:00

Um, why are there so many "FYL"s???? If you don't want a kid, use birth control, use condoms, or don't have sex. NOT THAT HARD.

JadeWalker 14

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:04

Hah sucks for you. An ****** isn't worth a $20,000+ mistake ydi

WhiteRangerKid 5

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:08

Congrats!!

vbmg152 18

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:23

Keep it zipped & this won't happen!!

lilsexythang 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:26

You ass. If your saying fml then maybe you should wrap it up! It's your own fault.

PuppyLove97 6

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:27

Woah! Thats great! And not so great. :p

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Grieving Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Drunk AITA Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 574

You deserved it 3 053

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 9 485

The Top

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 910

You deserved it 4 863

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 103

Today, I got the rest of the week off against my will due to lack of patients. Two weeks ago, I declined my boyfriend's dad's offer to pay for a flight to Panama City, FL for a family vacation this weekend in order to help the staff at work. Now I’m sitting at home and they’re on a beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 307

Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 122

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 275

You deserved it 51 656

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 943

You deserved it 4 827