Love, Pregnancy and Surprise: So… good news, or…? - FML

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 21 179

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 15 771

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 523

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 8 515

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 379

You deserved it 1 107

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 10 024

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 797

You deserved it 2 193

Next

Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

MainPrism 16

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:49

Oh yeah, almost forgot one more thing... YDI dumbass!!!

ArabFML 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:02

Don't be silly, wrap your willy!

1R1X0X0 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:09

God bless America! I was laughing so hard about the condom jokes I nearly peed my pants.

RedCamaro10 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:20

I must say, this is definitely the funniest way I've ever heard of saying "I got my girlfriend pregnant."

Teeheeyoufail 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:32

Make sure you have latex before you have sex ;)

mimerino 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:35

Wow that's a super funny way to put it...

ReaperUSMC11 5

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:47

It's a life changer, that kid will be both you and your girlfriends life once it's born. You don't know what love really is until you have a kid. Good luck!

pinkrockz 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:21

But you caused a terrible 8month parasitic disease?how does that work

anarchistpunk 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:25

Awwh You're so sweet! You made her all better!..for 9 months.

brando1983 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:25

No one ever got pregnant by swallowing...I'm just saying.

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Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Gun control Parents Kids

The Top

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 270

You deserved it 7 538

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 806

The Top

Today, I took my son to festival at a local church. He had a Nerf gun as part of his costume, but when I set it down to put something in my bag, someone walked off with it. We can't even go to a church function without running into thieves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 291

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 420

You deserved it 4 694

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except that when he did, he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 599

You deserved it 4 203

Today, I was sitting in a drive-thru with my girlfriend waiting for our food and the idiot behind me rear-ended me. I got out of the car to tell him he'd rear-ended me. He then argued with me, saying he "didn't feel it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 838

You deserved it 887

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 263

You deserved it 9 186

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 467

You deserved it 10 563