Love: Sounds promising

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Treat yourself

By birthday bash - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 210

You deserved it 5 240

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 168

You deserved it 6 311

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 802

You deserved it 2 579

Unwarranted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 16 143

Deal or no deal?

By toughlove - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 587

You deserved it 2 699

You've got mail

By guest - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 080

Been there, done that

By hlewrn - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 116

You deserved it 34 851

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 2 532

Secret

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 051

You deserved it 2 887

perdix 29

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:55

Does she know she's your "girlfriend," or are you a crazy stalker and she is your prey?

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:49

Maybe she wanted you to come with her?? Maybe you were about to have the best sex of your life but didn't realize it!

Comments

Stealthed 8

Saturday 14 April 2012 23:49

And..... Girlfriend is allergic to Ross petals, breaks out into hives and goes into shock.. Enjoy OP. :)

goodgurlgonebad 0

Saturday 14 April 2012 23:58

sounds like a one way conversation. well atleast she had the balls to say she was done listening an didnt tune you out.

Pudagiah 12

Sunday 15 April 2012 0:35

Yeah, allergic to Ross petals. Isn't that unfortunate? Luckily, she isn't allergic to rose petals.

HSOMGF 5

Sunday 15 April 2012 0:41

Bitch. Time for an upgrade.

maunaimer 6

Sunday 15 April 2012 1:22

Are you leaving some of the story out OP?

corydakota 4

Sunday 15 April 2012 1:51

My boyfriend does that to me sometimes.

clm123455 14

Sunday 15 April 2012 2:04

Aww man bro. I'm so sorry.

laurenmacias 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 2:13

At least she answered

Cablo_Gubla 2

Sunday 15 April 2012 3:27

You were asking for it. Never tell them how you feel until they tell you first, else you get situations like that. Also, she's probably cheating on you.

Tempest559 12

Sunday 15 April 2012 3:55

Good job on getting her into the sack before you got too clingy anyway

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Social Media Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Relatable Housework Embarrassing Work Awkward Transportation Cars Health Sports Accident Mental health Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 568

You deserved it 6 603

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I sent a tweet to my favourite artist to tell him that I loved his work. He replied that I was being rude and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 134

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 531

You deserved it 6 467

Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 240

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 553

You deserved it 14 701

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 665

You deserved it 3 831

Today, I went on a date with a girl who told me, “Sunny weather makes me depressed.” I’d hate to see what’s she’s like when it rains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 221