Love: Sounds promising - FML

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Treat yourself

By birthday bash - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 210

You deserved it 5 240

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 168

You deserved it 6 311

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 802

You deserved it 2 579

Unwarranted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 16 143

Deal or no deal?

By toughlove - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 587

You deserved it 2 699

You've got mail

By guest - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 080

Been there, done that

By hlewrn - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 116

You deserved it 34 851

Sponsored by Popov

By Sober - 25/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 130

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 2 532

Secret

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 051

You deserved it 2 887

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:55

Does she know she's your "girlfriend," or are you a crazy stalker and she is your prey?

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:49

Maybe she wanted you to come with her?? Maybe you were about to have the best sex of your life but didn't realize it!

Comments

SpeelCheck 2

Tuesday 17 April 2012 4:01

I know how you feel

jpowpow 1

Wednesday 18 April 2012 4:43

Time to say bye to her bro

Sindy_fml 4

Saturday 21 April 2012 9:55

Ungrateful.

Shakir 5

Friday 4 May 2012 6:31

damn thats messed upppp..

fmlbaby69 2

Tuesday 12 June 2012 13:47

Follow her, maybe she had a surprise in the bedroom?

seay37075 2

Monday 14 October 2013 14:09

Hahaha

enriquegonzolas 15

Friday 30 May 2014 20:20

Don't you hate that?

newthoughts_ 16

Wednesday 24 February 2016 23:06

I like how if this was the other way around the top comment would say "get a new boyfriend" but since the male is the victim, the most down voted comment says "get a new girlfriend"...just an observation...carry on

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love AITA Kids Pranks Dogs Friends Housework Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Work Cars Transportation Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 158

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

The Top

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 707

You deserved it 21 528

Today, my crush, who has turned me down in the past, actually gave me the “Why can’t I find a decent guy like you?” speech. That’s it, I’m officially THAT guy, I’m just that pathetic. I’d happily never see her again after this, except we live on the same street and work in the same building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 156

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 450

You deserved it 2 551

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 124

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 331

You deserved it 5 424

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 176

You deserved it 10 055