Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Split second

Split second

By FLIPmcCOOL - 15/05/2014 22:57 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 140

You deserved it 60 690

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Same thing different taste

Confusing love triangle

By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 3 608

Freud intensifies

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 22:01

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 1 183

By scalmon - 13/05/2011 17:08 - United States

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 363

You deserved it 67 534

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 097

By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 461

You deserved it 18 589

Memory man

By Anonymous - 20/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Kennebunk

Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the dirty, when she told me to say her full name, including her middle name. I'd forgot her middle name. It was completely awkward after. I'm a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 778

You deserved it 3 317

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

Freudian slip

By Daria_Weiner - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation

Today, at my anniversary party, and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 586

You deserved it 49 142

Sorry sweaty, my brain is melting

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 22:01

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 362

By thatsnotmyname - 03/07/2014 03:12 - United States - Calhoun City

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 7 810

kcpestwick 15

Friday 16 May 2014 10:48

Should've had a Twix

maxii290594 8

Friday 16 May 2014 10:52

Wrong answer buddy , wrong answer ... You're screwed

Comments

Goblin182 26

Friday 16 May 2014 13:03

Dead man walking!

chickenfeet223 11

Friday 16 May 2014 13:33

Haha. Ok That's kinda of funny. I hope she can understand it was a mistake

ninety 25

Friday 16 May 2014 13:34

Haha, are you still not over your ex or do you just find your wife boring enough that you imagine someone else during sex? Messed up either way.

MissBehavin77 18

Friday 16 May 2014 13:41

I wonder if she is now your new ex-girlfriend. You screwed up big time!

MissBehavin77 18

Friday 16 May 2014 13:51

Go ahead... Thumbs down me. I realized my mistake of saying ex girlfriend.

mbuck87 19

Friday 16 May 2014 13:43

Wife? And you still said the wrong name?

omgomgomg_NO 13

Friday 16 May 2014 13:48

You, sir, are an idiot.

vikky538 28

Friday 16 May 2014 14:04

well did you picture anyone in your mind...

albertozeta_fml 9

Friday 16 May 2014 14:16

What did your wife say?

rdrr 2

Friday 16 May 2014 14:18

I would have said, "Sara Lee! I am hungry."

sjbartholome 14

Friday 16 May 2014 14:41

Plot Twist: ex-gf is wife's sister!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 686

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 056

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 42 922

You deserved it 4 960

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I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 295

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 20 828

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 2 647

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 749

You deserved it 5 366

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 17 921