Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Sprinkler

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 7 573

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 474

You deserved it 9 331

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 897

You deserved it 13 669

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

By monkeyzz - 12/10/2012 11:11 - United States - Sonora

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 6 999

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 4 494

By whyme_ss - 23/02/2010 22:10 - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 139

You deserved it 45 296

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 991

You deserved it 961

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 808

You deserved it 71 148

DocBastard 38

Friday 9 March 2012 1:01

For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.

chillyCholo 5

Friday 9 March 2012 1:02

Was he as excited as you were?

Comments

canucks92 0

Friday 9 March 2012 1:12

Oh that sucks op!

micahsmommy 13

Friday 9 March 2012 5:19

Hence the FML.

LMA0 5

Friday 9 March 2012 7:04

15- And so does your comment.

Janelle561 0

Friday 9 March 2012 1:13

..Well at least you waited for an hour...

mk55kelly 0

Friday 9 March 2012 1:13

Why didn't you do the potty dance? That should have warned him to hurry up.

Shelta957 13

Friday 9 March 2012 4:06

RIGHT SIDE CROSS, LEFT SIDE CROSS

nofearjenshere 12

Friday 9 March 2012 1:13

Well now you can go in and shower, no big deal OP (:

liftedyoda 5

Friday 9 March 2012 2:56

mauguster 15

Friday 9 March 2012 6:30

Potassium to you too.

supimnyancat 9

Friday 9 March 2012 1:21

Urine luck to see him!

inlove72 11

Friday 9 March 2012 1:34

Was he at least happy to see you?

taerts 9

Friday 9 March 2012 1:38

At least you can change your pants :)

Milichi 5

Friday 9 March 2012 1:46

Pee in a bush and use the leaves as toilet paper.. it works -- I've done it

Honestly_Lainey 21

Friday 9 March 2012 3:32

Unless there's random poison ivy in your neighborhood. Wouldn't that be a bitch?

bigfunkychiken 6

Friday 9 March 2012 1:57

I'm her boyfriend xD

innka 2

Friday 9 March 2012 6:14

seriously?

XtraEzeee 8

Friday 9 March 2012 7:22

And I am batman. What's your point?

XtraEzeee 8

Friday 9 March 2012 7:24

And I am batman. What's your point?

coreydsmith 0

Friday 9 March 2012 1:59

Lol

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Animals Dogs Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 964

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 551

The Top

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 889

You deserved it 1 802

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 137

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 603

You deserved it 9 973

Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 1 469

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 3 910

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 138

You deserved it 3 643

Sprinkler

Same thing different taste

When nature calls…

Peaky Bladders

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