Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Sprinkler

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 7 573

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 474

You deserved it 9 331

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 897

You deserved it 13 669

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

By monkeyzz - 12/10/2012 11:11 - United States - Sonora

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 6 999

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 4 494

By whyme_ss - 23/02/2010 22:10 - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 139

You deserved it 45 296

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 991

You deserved it 961

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 808

You deserved it 71 148

DocBastard 38

Friday 9 March 2012 1:01

For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.

chillyCholo 5

Friday 9 March 2012 1:02

Was he as excited as you were?

Comments

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Friday 9 March 2012 10:47

At least you were home so you could shower and change right away

Dcm210 19

Friday 9 March 2012 11:45

now to get in and change.

court_f 8

Friday 9 March 2012 12:47

Why didn't u ask your neighbour? Or just go pee in a bush... Lol

Fallnstar69 2

Friday 9 March 2012 14:42

It's like a dog with his owners lol. I love you lol.

momo1972 3

Friday 9 March 2012 14:50

He does make you wet huh...yourself

Adelaide_CF 6

Friday 9 March 2012 22:05

Just... why didn't you pee behind a tree or a bush?

joylee23 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 0:52

That's funny

yaoifreak 8

Monday 12 March 2012 5:24

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

lilny5613 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 19:52

(car drives in) yay I can finally pee ( pees self) oh crap

Kathts7 12

Thursday 12 April 2012 17:05

Irony.. Not a fan?

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Cute Animals Dogs Sleep My ex Shopping Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 179

The Top

Today, the company I work for is now an online company, meaning we work from home. My boss suggested I live with him and I would still get my salary; if I don’t, I will get paid via 3% commissions on systems that barely sell. The worst part of all of this is that every day I get shouted at for nothing. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 135

Today, I’m at a low point. I sank low enough to ask a coworker I don’t even like for a pity shag to boost my self esteem. The sex was great, excellent even, but when he left this morning I now feel even lower because I feel cheap and nasty, and I almost had to beg for someone to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 923

Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 233

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother, who passed last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 137

You deserved it 2 691

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 188

You deserved it 5 403

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 4 684

Sprinkler

Same thing different taste

When nature calls…

Peaky Bladders

Top comments

Comments