Love, Kids, Poopoo peepee, Relatable, Awkward and Dating: Stinker

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Stinker

By taman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 400

You deserved it 5 472

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Same thing different taste

Potty

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 303

You deserved it 6 521

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 700

You deserved it 1 024

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 606

You deserved it 5 692

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 977

You deserved it 7 931

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 3 552

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 120

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 850

You deserved it 5 290

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 536

You deserved it 36 950

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 088

You deserved it 6 692

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 407

You deserved it 48 882

Hoofin 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:13

And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public

vendris 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:23

Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.

Comments

movies12 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 0:38

That is EXACTLY the reason why I don't take ***** in public washrooms. Also did ur date leave? cause if she didn't than there is nuthin to worry about. It's completely normal to take craps.

miharu365 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 3:05

At least he's not like the guy in JtHM. :D

SmokinGuns 13

Monday 23 September 2013 6:47

Love that series

carolinasteve 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 3:15

slap the lil bastard

iplayrugby18 11

Sunday 13 September 2009 5:54

I guess his parents didn't teach him manners. Thats when you say, "what did the five fingers say to the face?"

SabrinaLeewizzle 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 9:02

Oh My gosh I'm sooo sorry for you! haha Well If shes a nice Girl maybe she will overlook That and You guys can Laugh about it later on!

WTFpancakes 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:21

wait....did that kid like look over the wall or something? how did he know it was you exactly? did he stand there like an idiot like "omg i want to know who this is so i can embarass him" er something? anybody have a idea how this litlle brat knew it was exactly that one guy? geez