Intimacy: Stop talking

Stop talking

By -.- - 19/01/2015 01:18 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 039

You deserved it 3 032

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Same thing different taste

The truth

By Theaccident - 22/01/2011 10:03 - Australia

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 3 673

By Confused - 15/09/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 866

You deserved it 2 440

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 1 891

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 700

You deserved it 4 109

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 078

You deserved it 5 087

Harsh

By Anonymous - 16/08/2020 08:01

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 340

By Christina - 29/06/2012 05:31 - United States - Aurora

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 3 101

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 3 418

By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 123

You deserved it 5 027

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 2 576

Obito_Rocks 6

Monday 19 January 2015 12:38

Yikes, awkward for sure, but I can't help but ask... Was she bragging or griping?

Darkness_Hate 29

Monday 19 January 2015 12:46

Was it the "sex talk" or her personl anecdote?

Comments

cheeeksss 29

Monday 19 January 2015 13:01

I am squirming in my seat just reading this. FYL, OP. I'd run away. Far, far away.

Cass_x 22

Monday 19 January 2015 13:12

Some parents just don't know what to tell their kids, and what to keep private. My parents are the exact same way :/ fyl

Fern_Gully 20

Monday 19 January 2015 13:17

I'd love to know how this unsavory conversation even came up.

weveallbeenthere 30

Monday 19 January 2015 13:36

now I'm wondering, 6 minutes bent over the kitchen table? or 15 minutes in the back seat of the car. we need a follow up.

cakefete2 30

Monday 19 January 2015 15:36

It was 10 minutes in the back of the car. 2 minutes to get through the garage door. Then they finished "cooking" in the kitchen. 9 months later, they popped their little bun out of the oven.

Zenechai 2

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:52

So. Much. Brilliance!

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 19 January 2015 13:43

I would have responded with " oh yeah, I think my first time was 15 minutes too" let the awkwardness set in and they will get the point.. And then u can tell them ur kidding, or are u. Let them think about that all day.

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 19 January 2015 20:04

sounds good.

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 19 January 2015 13:45

Might I just ask, who looks at a clock before sex? Really? You time yourself like its a sport?

lukian_fml 29

Monday 19 January 2015 14:18

If there's a clock anywhere near your bed you might happen to glance it before. Plus you know roughly what time it is anyway, so when you look after (which you do, because one generally can't stay in bed all day) - you know whether it's three minutes, 45 minutes or two hours later.