Parenting, Relatable, Awkward and Kids: Straight to jail

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 970

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Same thing different taste

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 709

You deserved it 52 166

You people are twisted!

By pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 098

You deserved it 2 273

By lilmamma - 05/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 140

You deserved it 50 407

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 9 110

By WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM - 18/11/2012 21:22 - United States - Endicott

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 891

You deserved it 1 927

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 293

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 3 790

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 548

You deserved it 48 209

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 745

jellybeans4833 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.

allitaylor 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

bet her parents loved you for that..

Comments

jaym93 0

Friday 15 July 2011 10:41

you deserve it for not knowing what your own child looks like!

ReginaFalange_fml 13

Friday 15 July 2011 10:49

How could anyone ever do this... seriously...

Enslaved 36

Friday 15 July 2011 10:53

Those parents probably weren't watching their kid properly either.

claudsayssing 0

Friday 15 July 2011 10:53

how do you not know your own kid??

wriptidez 0

Friday 15 July 2011 10:53

u need more rest u are tired... hire a responsible person to watch her an hour while u relax....

dinorawrsalot 2

Friday 15 July 2011 11:04

dude was it the cops that told you that was not your kid?

Yessyy 0

Friday 15 July 2011 11:25

and what was your kid doing while this was happening?

04SmileyRylee 7

Friday 15 July 2011 11:35

what kind of a parent doesn't recognize their own kid?! lol

XxAlex777xX 0

Friday 15 July 2011 11:40

you dont reconize your son

SavySituation 0

Friday 15 July 2011 12:32

LMAO LMAO LMAO !

Keywords

Cats Animals Awkward Work Embarrassing Christmas Health Anniversary Boredom Love Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk AITA Parents Kids Gun control Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Food Miscellaneous Family

The Top

Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 89

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 4 326

Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 104

Today, and for the umpteenth time, my cellphone customer service told me that I have to talk to the FCC due to a screwup on both sides in my cellphone plan. The thing is, I can't get around their stupid automated system, 0 is disabled and I don't want to brute force the 20 other numbers to find a living, breathing human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 102

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 413

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 006

You deserved it 5 803

Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 661

You deserved it 33 443

Straight to jail

Same thing different taste

Stranger danger!

You people are twisted!

The Headmaster Ritual

Whack-a-Mole

Bounce off

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