Sex and Intimacy: Strange terminology - FML

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Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 444

You deserved it 1 768

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Same thing different taste

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 111

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 910

You deserved it 37 472

By foreseeingabreakup - 06/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 333

You deserved it 7 040

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 388

You deserved it 34 749

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 340

You deserved it 10 520

By No O-face - 18/01/2011 03:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 864

You deserved it 6 443

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 657

You deserved it 5 651

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 746

You deserved it 20 107

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 19 285

It's not you, it's him

By Anonymous - 02/10/2021 23:01 - Italy - Benevento

Spicy

Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 284

Next

Top comments

mylonius 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:26

Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?

almost_there44 26

Monday 18 July 2016 22:27

Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.

Comments

Gundel 22

Tuesday 19 July 2016 15:54

I guess, he is more used to his hand than to a ******...

KinglyBee 3

Tuesday 19 July 2016 17:00

I have a muscle condition that causes the muscles in my ****** to CONSTANTLY squeeze, and I still have partners of all sizes "fall out" because sometimes if you're in the mood enough and are enthusiastic enough, ya get the slip and slide effect. On the same note, I have a friend who has a naturally "loose" ****** and rarely has that problem, either. Either try a different position or tell him to grow the **** up

GovernmentLizard 2

Tuesday 19 July 2016 19:41

Maybe he doesn't have a very "big dick"

littlefoott69 14

Tuesday 19 July 2016 20:21

tell him to wipe his dick with a towel after the second time ..grippy ******.sheesh .he must be a virgin or just never with an aroused women before OP: enjoy your sex life you are fine

bowsie22 2

Tuesday 19 July 2016 21:01

Not a bad thing! As a woman becomes more aroused, her ****** stretches more and gets looser. If it was "grippy", he's doing something wrong ;D

protospartan065 6

Tuesday 19 July 2016 21:22

Ok

Cavsfodawin 21

Tuesday 19 July 2016 21:29

It means you have a loose pussy

sweetpotato301 7

Tuesday 19 July 2016 22:00

See comments above for much needed correction

oathkeeper99 31

Tuesday 19 July 2016 23:01

Could it not possibly be caused by excess lubrication? If you get really wet when having sex that can cause him to slip out a lot easier because it pretty much acts like a water slide. If that's the case, he should take it as a compliment that he turns you on that much!

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 26 July 2016 3:24

Not excess - plentiful.

alfalfalaffa 17

Wednesday 20 July 2016 0:47

Lettuce all not forget that vaginal width is also an important factor in this issue, in addition to penis length and girth.

ouijacorn 9

Wednesday 20 July 2016 3:11

"Grippy"? He does know that vaginas aren't made of velcro, right?

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