Dogs, Poopoo peepee, Weddings and Health: Stuck

Stuck

By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 7 852

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 957

You deserved it 8 205

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 1 793

By Oops - 18/11/2018 21:00 - United States

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 915

You deserved it 253

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 206

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

In a rush

By Crappy - 11/04/2015 12:12 - Canada - Rodney

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 506

You deserved it 2 995

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 303

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 725

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

olpally 32

Monday 12 August 2013 22:14

I've heard of "my dog ate my homework" excuse, but this is a new one. Go find another one at a store and quick!

mandygrl25 18

Monday 12 August 2013 22:17

Why did you keep the suit within your dogs reach?

Comments

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 12 August 2013 22:23

You have twelve hours to get another one. With all that time you might as well get creative with your dogs punishment.

CrissyyyS2 22

Monday 12 August 2013 22:23

Havent people learned to keep all new clothing somewhere your pets cant tear or slobber all over em! Too many fmls about pets ripping OPs stuff. You guys are teasing your pets! Leaving stuff like those around the house for them to play with!

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 12 August 2013 22:24

I don't understand why OP didn't just make a superhuman effort and clench for the 20 seconds it would take to get out there and rescue the rented tux. The shoes, they're probably relatively easily replaceable. A tux replacement from a rental shop, not so much.

CrissyyyS2 22

Monday 12 August 2013 22:46

Clenching doesnt always work. But yea, try to clench and save the outfit but fail to hold clench > Watching helplessly your dog destroying your expensive rentals.

monkeytater96 23

Monday 12 August 2013 22:25

You're just having a really shitty day.

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 12 August 2013 22:30

Your dog was probably just crabby because you never play with him.

fml1365 30

Monday 12 August 2013 22:37

I sea you had a ruff time.

CanadiAnM8 24

Monday 12 August 2013 22:43

That sucks a lot. I suggest maybe punishing the dog by maybe giving him food he doesn't like. But you should explain what happened to your sister and wear nice clothes.

alonzo368 5

Monday 12 August 2013 22:46

it's your sisters wedding just rent another and deal with the cost after

doodlecloud 26

Monday 12 August 2013 22:59

Yeah...run out and stop him. It may get messy but as long as you keep the tux clean, you can clean the rest up later...

Michael_92 20

Monday 12 August 2013 23:00

I really think the bigger question here is why would you let your dog do that while you just sit there?

ratorr2 23

Monday 12 August 2013 23:29

Exactly my thought. I would risk having to clean up after myself if it meant saving the shoes and tux. There's no way I would just sit on the toilet for hours watching my dog chew up stuff.